Holding On
by Dera-Chan's Fan
Summary: When Donovan finds out Jay is bi, blackmail ensures. However, is there more to it than simple blackmail? Like some unresolved feelings he has for Jay. Not that Jay would notice, he's too busy falling for Simon. Jay/Donovan, Jay/Simon, some warnings inside
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Okay, yeah, so I plucked up the courage and posted this. It was inspired by one particular scene that will be referenced later on in the story. Anyway, read and let me know what you think.

**WARNINGS: **M/M, dub-con (I think that covers everything)

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><p><em>Chapter 1<em>

Jay couldn't quite believe his own unfortunate luck when was given a detention by Paedo Kennedy. At no point had he done anything that was worth issuing a detention, clearly the Paedo just wanted to spend extra time with the fittest boy in the geography class. Will had laughed, of course, finding it quite hilarious that Jay had received a detention from this specific teacher. The other members of the class had laughed too which resulted in Jay trying to piece together some form of come back.

Either way, the teenager was now sat in the room that was used for detentions. It was originally a storage room for excess music equipment, but the head had cancelled music lessons hence it's new status of detention room. It was a Friday night and since most teachers wanted to head home as quickly as possible, not many detentions had been handed out so the room only had three occupants; two students and the teacher on duty. The clock ticking pretty much echoed through the room until the teacher had just about enough and dismissed them almost half an hour early. Whilst the other student grabbed his stuff and left even before the teacher, Jay had a slower approach. It wasn't that he enjoyed being at school nor having detentions, but he really resented being at home and his friends were probably out without him now. He meandered through the corridor, walking the long way to the exit which took him past the Sixth Form Common Room. This route was highly convenient as he'd consciously left his laptop in there.

Emptiness and a deathly silence filled the Common Room. Jay reached his laptop which was still open, carelessly. The tabs of his internet browser were still open too. Had a normal tab being open, this would be highly embarrassing but before the detention, he'd be browsing something even more weird and hence inexplicably embarrassing than the normal, regular porn he'd often watch in the Common Room, alone or not. Jay swallowed as the paused video was paused on the image of two men... together.

That's right, Jay Cartwright, the non-stop bullshitter, who's main stories involved clunge, gash and tits was homosexual.

Well, in truth, he was bisexual. Only guys did it for him more than girls and he'd exhausted every porn site containing women available on the internet. He had needed new wanking material and he'd found it in two sodomising males.

He realised he'd been looking at the paused video for a few minutes now which meant he was hard. He considered the risk of getting caught if he just stayed in the room and knocked one out over this video. They were minimal. Without second thought, he was playing the video, one hand down his pants and the other ready to shut the laptop knowing from experience that if he was caught, it was better to be prepared.

One thing Jay hadn't suspected was that he was not alone in the common room. Although, when he entered the room, his eyes had been fixated on the screen rather than his surroundings. Jay jumped when someone maliciously muttered behind him,

"Always knew you were a bender, Cartwright." Jay stopped mid-wank and his tactical hand to shut the laptop screen came in fantastically handy. He looked around and saw the one person he would've wished it had not been. If it had been one of his mates, he could've explained it or they may have at least been slightly compassionate, but there was no-way he could experience it from this guy,

"D...Donovan..." Jay stuttered, turning around to view him, "How long have you been here?" He muttered in a very pathetic tone and Donovan just laughed,

"Longer than you. You're browsing history was fucking interesting." He added, further laughing as Jay cursed himself silently for leaving his laptop in the common room. Why was he such a fucking idiot? "Spend a lot of time on Cooper's Facebook pictures, do ya?" Jay was quite surprised that was the element of the history that Mark Donovan had picked up on.

He was obviously referring to Jay's oldest friend, Simon Cooper. He didn't want to use the word "crush" to describe how he honestly felt about Simon; they'd been friends too long for that. There was something about him that Jay wanted and he wasn't the first considering Simon did better with the ladies than any of his other friends. Jay had been hiding his feelings for Simon for years now, and they usually surfaced through insults towards him. Almost like when 8 year old kids like each other but rather than admitting they did, they simply bully each other. It was a highly similar scenario.

But there wasn't time to be thinking about Simon right now. He'd got bigger problems.

"He's my friend." Jay tried to cover his feelings for Simon; thinking about his friend wasn't really helping his hard cock and this whole being caught scenario happened far too often at home to put his cock off,

"Are they your friends?" Donovan asked, referencing the two men that had been fucking each other on Jay's computer screen. Jay swallowed again, not entirely sure what to say now as Donovan's eyes quite eerily lingered over Jay's body. He settled on the area of Jay's groin, noticing that his trousers are still unzipped due to Jay's carelessness.

It wasn't that Donovan was gay himself, it was more that he liked having this power over people. That's why he liked bullying weaker, more submissive people. He'd officially gained complete power over Jay now, realising that what he'd witnessed Jay doing would serve as blackmail for further power over him. This obsession wasn't exactly a sexual thing. When he was with Charlotte, he would've done anything to please her but she'd screwed him over. He wasn't the same after that. Unfortunately, Cartwright was the person he was going to take it out on. Screw with _his_mind, break him. Or that's what he was telling himself anyway. Over and over again. That he wanted to hurt Cartwright. Whether he actually wanted to hurt him or not was an entirely different matter.

Jay realised that Mark had been staring at his open fly and moved swiftly to close it but his hands were stopped by Donovan and Jay was confused about what was happening but didn't try to pull away. He wasn't sure angering the other boy was the way to go, "Who said you could do that, _Cartwright?_" He menacingly asked,

"No...no-one." Jay stumbled, and couldn't help but wonder what Mark was planning to do. He suddenly realised how alone they were in the school. No teachers would be left around now, the cleaners were probably done for the night too. If only he'd just gone home and faced whatever shit his dad was going to dish up to him tonight,

"Apologise and then finish." Jay was a little puzzled as to what Donovan was requesting from him. It had sounded like Mark wanted him to finish wanking but that would make Donovan, the hardest guy in school, gay, which didn't make sense. If he was gay, why was he bullying Jay because of it? "Do it or I'll tell everyone what you've been up to tonight and that you're a puff." He threatened and Jay had sort of seen this coming,

"B... but are you gay too?" Jay couldn't help but ask. It probably wasn't the smartest move ever but it had just slipped out. Suddenly, Donovan let go of Jay's wrists that he'd been restraining from earlier and instead grabbed the back of Jay's hair roughly, pulling his head back,

"I'm _not_ a fucking homo, Cartwright and even if I was, is everyone from the school gonna believe me about tonight or you?" Mark explicated and Jay gulped as Donovan released him, "Now, do what you're told." He maliciously added as Jay considered his options for a second. There was no point in trying to run and "escape" if it could be called that since Donovan would outrun Jay even with a 10 minute head start. The same went for fighting; Jay was already shit scared of Donovan and there was no way he could take him. Meaning he was left with just the one option and that was to do as he'd been asked. He reached down under his pants and proceeded with his wanking. Donovan laughed slightly, not believing that Cartwright had actually listened to him.

Being experienced in masturbation, it took Jay less than a minute to come into his own hand, the fact that he was being watched not distracting him in the least. He groaned when he came which made Donovan smile and if Jay had seen the smile, he'd have probably been slightly creeped out. But he didn't, "Fucking great." Donovan muttered as Jay came to terms with what he just did. But at least it was done now, hopefully Donovan wouldn't blackmail him any further. Hopefully. "Well done, Cartwright." He whispered and held his phone in front of Jay to show him the picture he'd just took of Jay wanking in the common room, just to further add to what he could blackmail with,

"What're you gonna do with that?" Jay enquired, quite forward, leaving his trousers unzipped in case Donovan wanted him to do so,

"It's to keep so that you'll do exactly what I want, when I want you to." He informed Jay who shook his head, knowing that what Donovan would want him to do may be advancements on today and he didn't want to do it, he wouldn't do it, "You fucking will, Cartwright otherwise by Monday morning, everyone attending this school'll know _all_you're secrets, the bender porn, stalking Cooper, wanking, everything." Jay was slowly beginning to break, weighing which option would be better, for the school to know he was gay, lose any credibility he had and lose his friends, more importantly lose Simon or to be at Donovan's disposal for an indefinite amount of time. "Oh, and if those things aren't enough, I'll also kill your friends." Jay was quite unsure as to whether Mark would actually kill Will, Simon and Neil or whether it was just to make the prospect of beating them up sound entirely more malicious. But it was within the realm of possibility and despite the way he treated his friends, he didn't want to see them get beat within an inch of their life, less so because of him,

"Fine." Jay mumbled, with instant regret,

"Knew you'd see reason." With that Donovan left and Jay began to silently cry.


	2. Chapter 2

__**A/N I really need to find someone who ships Jay/Simon as much as I do otherwise you might not appreciate this chapter as much as you could.**

_Thanks to my lone reviewer who was anonymous so I couldn't reply but I can say thanks here, it was appreciated! :D_

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><p><em>Chapter 2<em>

It was Monday. A new week of school had begun yet the memories of Friday would not stop playing on his mind. He didn't want to think about it. He tried to stop thinking about it but it was difficult. Particularly when he spent most of the weekend masturbating and his favourite hobby was now tainted with the memory of Friday. So it was mainly spent watching crappy television shows and avoiding his family and friends. Now they were at school, it seemed like an average Monday. Only for Jay it wasn't as they entered the Common Room and he froze looking at a certain spot,

"You all right, mate?" Neil enquired in a friendly tone, thinking nothing would be quite seriously wrong with his friend. Jay snapped out of it and nodded,

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He stated and Neil shrugged heading over to where Simon and Will had sat down. Jay slowly followed avoiding eye contact with people in the room, sort of paranoid that Donovan had broke their deal. He sat down with his friends who were having some kind of in-depth discussion about one of the birds in their year who'd apparently gained "whore" status over the weekend. Jay realised how pointless most of the conversation he had with his friends were. But at the same time, they weren't pointless, they were serving the brilliant function of keeping his mind off things,

"So, where've you been all weekend?" Simon suddenly asked Jay, maybe it wouldn't keep his mind off things after all,

"Home." Jay shrugged causing Will and Simon to look at each other confused. Normally, Jay would create some sort of fantastical story about where he'd been and what'd been doing, always total bullshit of course but they were usually interesting to hear. The group, with the exception of Neil, what Jay's weekend past times mainly consisted of,

"No shagging fake girls or modelling for Ralph Lauren?" Jay shook his head to Will's question, who just accepted the answer.

Without Jay's stories, the time before they headed to registration went unnaturally slowly, but eventually the bell rang and the boys got up to leave, although Jay stayed sat for a moment. Simon was slightly concerned that something was wrong with his friend so he waited behind insisting Will headed to registration without him,

"Are you okay, Jay?" He asked, sitting down next to him. Jay considered, in that instant, telling Simon everything, revealing all, just so he had someone to talk to or someone to help him. But then he remembered he'd then have to tell Simon all about looking at his Facebook pictures and then there would be the awkward conversation of telling Simon that he'd loved him and he had done for years and that they should be together,

"Can't complain." Jay shrugged and Simon sighed,

"You know where I am if you want to talk." He finished and grabbed his bag, ready to leave,

"That sounded really bent." Jay joked, trying to convince Simon he was absolutely fine. He'd got himself into this, he'd get himself out of it, somehow,

"Like Neil's dad?"

"Yep." Simon felt slight more optimistic that there was nothing wrong with Jay and left the common room, slowly followed by Jay, who didn't care in the slightest whether he was late for registration.

It was quite an uneventful day at school and at no point did Jay see Donovan, which was incredulously fortunate. He'd even made it home quite successfully and could only hope that every day was like this. Sat in his room with nothing to do, the teen soon became quite restless; there was fuck all on the TV and other than watching porn, Jay wasn't sure what else laptops could be used for. However, the boredom soon dispelled when his mum yelled up to tell him a friend was at the door. Curious about which friend it was and whether or not it was entirely safe to head out with them at risk of seeing Donovan. Naturally, when he reached the door all his panic about seeing Donovan slowly dissipated because the "friend" at the door was Mark Donovan,

"Erm, hi." Jay gulped and his guest just nodded in response,

"We're goin' out, c'mon." He stated and once again, Jay was left wondering exactly what the hell was happening. Where exactly were he and Mark going and more importantly what to do? "Get a fucking move on Cartwright!"  
>"Right, yeah, sorry..." Jay mumbled and then yelled to his mum that he was going out. She didn't seem to acknowledge it much.<p>

The two walked for a while with neither actually talking to each other. In all fairness, Jay was terrified and didn't really want to talk to Donovan unless truly necessary. Donovan, on the other had, was far too preoccupied looking around for something to make any reasonable conversation. Not that he would have anyway. Jay's curiosity eventually got the better of him, "Erm, where're we going?" He asked, starting to worry when they got further away from his house than Jay had anticipated. Mark smiled, that same malicious smile from Friday night, which scared Jay,

"I was hopin' to find somewhere private and if not my flat." He grunted and Jay didn't want to imagine what was coming when they found a private place but his thoughts kept leading him back to images. Fucking hell, why did he have to be bisexual?

The privacy element was soon met by the class of an unlit alleyway which Donovan pushed Jay down until they were far enough away from the main street. It was a pretty cliché alley, a couple of bins, a stray cat, surrounded by high rise buildings since they had ended up walking as far as the city. The buildings were making it all the more worse. Sort of like claustrophobia, the walls were seemingly closing in on Jay. He was here now, in this position and he couldn't escape, "This'll do. Don't want you feeling special by giving me a BJ inside." He explained and Jay wasn't sure whether to be repelled or quite turned on since this would be actual sexual activity with someone. Granted it would be a guy, meaning that he couldn't brag about it and he'd be giving rather than receiving, which was a little tedious but it was still a form of sex.

On the other hand, Jay hated the idea. The fact they were in an alleyway not only made Jay feel completely dirty, further infusing the fact that this was wrong and it wasn't meant to be enjoyed but also increased the risk of being caught by a member of the public walking down here. It was safe to say his feelings were highly mixed about this situation.

It wasn't that Mark was attracted to Jay (despite not having thoughts about anyone else all weekend) and it definitely wasn't that he was getting off on the mere thought of Jay giving him head (despite his cock aching for it), he just wanted this power over him. Yeah. That was his excuse. He wasn't gay. Not Mark Donovan. And he certainly wasn't gay for a prick like Cartwright. In fact, this wasn't about Cartwright, it should be about Charlotte. But it wasn't. Cartwright intrigued him too much. He'd developed an impromptu crush over the weekend. Not that he was gay. Mark Donovan was _not_gay. Better get this over and done with since he was straight. He shouldn't enjoy the process, just the idea behind the process, "Get the fuck on with it, Cartwright!" He complained and watched Jay look thoroughly confused about where to begin. It was one thing to watch porn videos about this sort of thing yet it was an entirely different matter when you came to do it yourself.

Jay got down on his knees, never feeling this degraded by someone ever, not even his bastard of a father. But it really wasn't an appropriate time to be thinking about his father right now. Not as he undid the fly of another man, revealing a noticeable tent in Mark's underwear.

Jay was sort of curious. He still didn't understand Donovan's intentions. If he wasn't gay, what was he getting out of this and why was his cock hard as Jay freed it from the Calvin Klein's,

"I've, erm, never..." Jay tried to explain to Donovan that this was the first time he'd done anything like this. It was sort of an pre-emptive apology about Jay's lack of practise,

"You fucking what, Cartwright?" Donovan questioned to Jay, with the threatening advantage of being literally twice the size of him whilst he was on his knees. If Jay wasn't scared of Donovan already, being in this position would certainly terrify him. Jay muttered a "Nothing" before facing the dick in front of him. Thankfully, Mark was already hard so that was most of the work done for Jay. Although, the sexual experience Donovan most likely had would mean that he might not cum as quick as your average teenage boy, being practised and all.

Jay took a deep breath and with one swift motion was making an effort to take Mark's whole member in his mouth at once. It was more difficult than he thought it would be, what with having to consciously make sure he was bobbing his head but without scraping any teeth against the cock. All the birds and blokes he'd witness doing this in the many, many, many porn movies he'd seen over the years must be incredibly talented. But it probably got easier with practise and he had the sinking feeling that he was going to get lots of that.

Donovan was pretending that this wasn't enjoyable. Kept repeating that he wasn't into men. He wasn't gay! It was just Cartwright, the fucking wanker. Whether or not his new found toy had got any experience at this or not, he was good. And Donovan knew good, he'd had plenty of blow jobs with birds. Maybe that's why Jay was better because he was a guy. No, that couldn't be it, because Donovan wasn't gay. Other than when Cartwright was involved.

Realising that he was losing power over Jay, which he so desperately wanted, Mark pushed the teenagers head further down his shaft. It was visibly clear that he didn't like that, not one bit, when he attempted to push himself away. But remembering where he was and who he was with, it didn't take long to accept it. But on top of controlling everything else, it was now required that he control his breathing too, since the cock was shoved so far down his throat. What didn't make this any easy was that a boner was forming and rubbing painfully against his pants meaning his movements were limited too. He wasn't quite sure which part of this he was getting off on, but he hoped it was the fact it was with a man, not a terrible looking man either, rather than the fact he was sort of being forced into it.

Hot liquid soon flooded Jay's throat as Donovan came and pulled out of his mouth. Mark steadied himself against a bin, whilst he regained his strength from what had been an intense orgasm. Not because it had been a guy providing it, but because it was Cartwright.

Meanwhile, his toy spat out the spunk from his mouth, but couldn't quite remove the salty taste. He was stuck with that. At the same time he was making sure Donovan didn't notice his hard-on, not wanting a repeat of Friday, particularly when they were completely out in public now.

Mark was watching him, for some reason frustration was building because of his peer. When he got frustrated, someone else usually got beat up. Cartwright would deserve it for being such a turn on, for trying to make him gay and he wouldn't put up a fight. It didn't have to be something major, a little punch or something to release the anger building up inside, sort of the cheap form of anger management.

Jay was still on his knees and didn't expect it when Donovan hit him right in the jaw. Now he fell onto his side from the blow and didn't expect it when Donovan kicked him in the ribs. And he didn't expect the quick kick to the cock he got in swift succession. Donovan left after that. Jay got up once he regained his strength but he wasn't fully recovered, he realised when there was a sharp pain in his rib. It must be broke. No way could he walk back home from the city; it was about a mile away and it was getting late. He hadn't got any money either to catch the bus. In fact, the only thing in his pocket was his mobile – looks like he'd have to call someone to pick him up. Quickly, the teen flicked through his contact list, dismissing his mum and dad. Maybe he dismissed them because he didn't want to have to explain what had happened, not that they'd give a shit. Then again, maybe he dismissed them because he really wanted to call Simon. Let's face it, this had been a rough night for him and he was sure things might get worse, but Simon was his light at the end of the tunnel somehow.

Before he knew it, Simon was begrudgingly on his way to pick Jay up and with some pain to his rib, Jay walked back through the alley to the main street to wait for the familiar sight of Simon's shitty yellow Fiat.

When the Fiat arrived, it dawned on Jay that Simon was sort of like a knight in shining armour, well loser in a Cinquecento Hawaii. It was a clichéd thought, granted but Jay found some comfort in it,

"Go on then, tell me what led to you being stuck in the city with no way of getting back." Simon goaded, expecting one of Jay's incredible bullshit tales,

"My mate lives in one of the Park Flats, got invited to a party but no-one could give me a lift back 'cause we were all spasticated." He explained, knowing this story wasn't up to the usual standard but hoping it would do and if not, he could distract Simon. They stopped at traffic lights and Simon noticed a bruise forming on Jay's face,

"Get into a fight at the party?" He asked, gesturing to the bruise,

"Erm, yeah, but you should have seen the other guy." He winked at Simon and started laughing, which hurt his possibly fractured rib. Still at the traffic lights, Simon noticed Jay grab his side and groan slightly. He wasn't entirely sure what had happened to Jay but with the way he had acted in school today and the fact he'd apparently been beat up now was all cause for concern, "Think I've broke a rib..." Jay mumbled, figuring there was no point in hiding it, since he was gripping at his side with some force. Simon ignored the reason behind this fight Jay had had, deducing that interrogating him about what was going on would probably not produce an answer,

"You want to go to the hospital?" He did contemplate going to the hospital with Simon for a minute, he'd get to spend time with him alone, maybe up to 4 or 5 hours depending on the business of the A&E, plus they might give him some painkillers, which he kind of really needed if the pain in his side was anything to go by.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I felt bad that this chapter was so short, so I did a little bit of rewriting and tried to make it slightly longer and hopefully better.

Also, I have coming bearing two Christmas gifts, not only have I extended this chapter, but I'm also going to upload Chapter 4, merry Christmas! Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

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><p><em>Chapter 3<em>

The next morning was quite an average one for Neil and Will, who arrived in the common room and sat down together. Not that Neil and Will were the usual two to be here first, nor had spent much time alone, so both parties were hoping their friends would arrive soon. If only to provide balance between Will's incredible intelligence and Neil's limited knowledge,

"Wonder where they are." Will muttered, attempting to make conversation between the two and Neil stared back at him almost looking confused, or was that Neil's permanent expression?

"Who?" He questioned and Will rolled his eyes, knowing that his attempt to talk to Neil would always be futile at best,

"Jay and Simon, you know, the other two." He tried to explain in what would now be called 'Neil Language',

"Ohh, maybe they're dead." He suggested,

"Why would they be dead?"

"Well, if I were dead, I wouldn't be at school." Neil shrugged, his explanation actually making sense to Will. However, the dead theory was not proved correct when Simon and Jay both entered a few moments later looking decidedly worn out, probably due to lack of sleep, Will deduced noting the bags under their eyes,

"Morning gays." Jay muttered in his usual manner (Since he'd spent most of the night with Simon, he was in quite a good mood.) and carefully sat down on the seat next to Neil to avoid further hurting his rib. His attempt to make his pained face seem less obvious was counterproductive and Will, being Will, noticed that something was wrong,

"What have you two been doing?" He asked, looking Jay up and down, now noticing the bruise on his face as well,

"_I've _not done anything." Simon corrected, "Just helped Jay out after he was at a party he was at in town and ended up bruising a rib." He remarked sounded highly unenthusiastic,

"It was a pretty rough fight, I thought it was broken." He quickly defended himself and to be fair, it was painful whether it was bruised or fractured,

"Anyway, we ended up spending most of last night at A&E only to find out that the hospital could do fuck all about it." Simon finalised and folded his arms, slumping down next to Will, just as the bell rang and they all had to get back up again,

"Like you had any better plans other than staying up and wanking over Carli's Facebook picture!" Jay had been slightly offended that Simon hadn't enjoyed the time they'd spent at A he had. Plus, he'd been beat up and in this fucking situation to protect the lot of them (and also to protect his own ass) but if they weren't going to show any sympathy for him, they could fuck off, particularly Simon,

"Brilliant." Simon mumbled back as they left the Common Room and headed to registration that Tuesday Morning.

Whether or not Simon had enjoyed the time he and Jay had spent together (in A&E) last night was completely irrelevant in Jay's mind. It had served the ingenious function of taking his mind off Donovan and making him forget the pain he was in as result of Donovan and that was because of Simon and his amazing ability to ramble on about pointless shit (like Carli D'Amato) for hours. But afterwards, when both arrived to Simon's, where Jay had been told he could sleep, he couldn't help feeling despondent about the whole thing. He wasn't going to get Simon. No-way. It didn't matter how much time they spent alone together, it wouldn't convince Simon to be gay and strike up a relationship with Jay. And it wasn't like they got to spend a lot of time alone together these days, which Jay enjoyed blaming on Will. Before Will was here, he and Simon spent loads of time alone together since Neil usually forgot they were meant to be meeting or had no money to do anything with them. But not any more. Will was evidently better than Jay in Simon's eyes. Whatever.

The day seem to go by quickly, as had Mondays, possibly due to limited interaction with Donovan. Not no interaction, however, as they did brush past each other in the hall, but Jay was confident Mark wouldn't do anything, not in front of his mates. What was unusual about the situation, though, was that he swore that Donovan had muttered a 'Sorry', then again, maybe that's what he wanted to hear and his mind was creating some false memories. Sort of lulling him into a false sense of security before he forced him to perform more sexual acts, which he would then probably get beat up for later. But whatever Jay had been waiting for was non-existent. The day went by like a breeze and it was Wednesday before he knew it.

The positive mood Jay had been in yesterday from spending lots of time alone with Simon, had soon disappeared. Last night had been fucking terrible. Not because he'd seen Donovan. In fact he hadn't seen him at all, but just generally because of his dad. But that was the least of his worries. He was the first one to enter the common room that morning and was almost immediately reminded of his first meeting with Mark.

Jay had learnt his lesson, he checked and double checked the common room to make sure he was actually alone; not that he was planning on wanking again. It was just better to be safe than sorry.

About five minutes later, other people started to arrive into the common room including Neil, who was always happy to see Jay, no matter what he said or did; there was some comfort in that. He sat down next to Jay with a smile on his face,

"All right, mate?" Neil asked, noting that Jay looked slightly down. He didn't pick up on much, but when he did pick up on something, it had to be an indication that something was quite seriously wrong otherwise he wouldn't have noticed,

"Oh, yeah." Jay shrugged at Neil, who wasn't entirely convinced. From experience, he knew that it was difficult to get Jay to say what he was really feeling. He had to be really depressed or really hurt for him to tell Neil. When they were around 10, Jay used to walk around to Neil's and stay the night to get away from his family. But it took a whole two weeks of sleeping at Neil's before Jay told him the real reason behind it and not whatever lie Jay had created. If that scenario held any similarity to this, then whatever was bothering Jay wouldn't be revealed until it had been happening for a long time. Nevertheless, Neil took the plunge and further questioned him about it,

"Sure? It's just you don't seem yourself." He stated, "Is it your dad, Jay?" He questioned and Jay sighed. Although, his dad was the main source of his down mood today, he wasn't the reason for it yesterday and he probably wouldn't be the reason for it in the future. So, whatever Jay answered Neil with would be both variations of the same truth. Jay could tell Neil. He could tell Neil and the information would be safe. Keeping secrets was one of the few things that Neil was exceptional at, maybe because he forgot them most of the time or because he didn't worry about things. Whatever it was, Jay was always grateful for it throughout their friendship. This time, though, Jay had his vexations; there was always the possibility that Neil wouldn't accept him if he was gay. Wasting their friendship on a small entity like that seemed pointless. He could deal with this alone,

"Yeah, yeah, it's my dad." Jay partially lied and was partially honest, "I'll be fine, though Neil." He quickly added as he saw Simon and Will also enter the common room. It caused Neil to look around and track Jay's eyeline and he picked up on Jay's quick dismissal of the topic. It wasn't over though, Neil wasn't exactly convinced that Jay was okay,

"Oh look, it's Rocky Balboa." Will dryly commented, referring to Jay's fight yesterday. He and Simon sat down, directly across from Neil and Jay as Simon slightly laughed at Will's joke,

"Fuck off." Jay muttered, not in the mood for Will, nor his comments,

"How are you today then, broke anymore ribs?" Simon enquired, with a slight hint of actual geniality and care behind what he said. Evidently, he just disguised the pleasant question with an unfunny joke,

"I'm good, don't think anyone'll want to fight me anytime soon though. A trainer from the boxing federation saw me and wanted me to go pro, had to say no." He lied, trying to convince the others that he was just his usual self,

"Don't even think there's such a thing as the "Boxing Federation"." Will explained, granted his knowledge on boxing was exactly a vast one, but he had basic general information on the subject. Plus, knowing Jay, it was a complete lie anyway. What part of it did sound genuine?

"Who asked you, briefcase?" Jay snapped back, frustrations increasing, just as the bell rang and both boys, Jay and Will, realised they had a geography lesson together next, so they were stuck with each other for a whole two periods.

Neil and Simon went their own way once they'd left the common room leaving, Will and Jay alone together to head to geography.

Typically, Jay and Will didn't really bother making conversation with each other because Will felt he was too smart for Jay, whilst Jay knew that whatever he said, Will would probably assume was bollocks. But today was quite unusually different and all began when Donovan passed the two in the hall way. As he passed, he took away any awkward silence they were experiencing. Once he was out of sight, Will recalled something that Donovan had said to him the other day, when he was getting wedgied. It had began with Will stating a simple clichéd remark to Donovan during the assault,

"Why don't you bully someone else for a change?" was about the statement he'd said. What Donovan had said in response, however, was what had Will thinking and only when the bully had just passed had he remembered the conversation,

"I've started, just ask your friend, Cartwright." Obviously, when Donovan had called Jay a friend, he'd used the term loosely as Will suddenly stopped Jay in the middle of the corridor.

Jay knew something was awry because Will would never stop them on the way to a lesson, that way they might be late and get in trouble, blah, blah, blah. He was concerned that the sudden stop had been in time with Donovan walking past and he was dreading what Jay had to say to him,

"Jay..." Will stated, sounding highly serious, "What's going on between you and Donovan?" Immediately, Jay's face posed a truthful reaction of shock from being asked the question. After a while he realised that his face was a dead give-away that something had indeed been going on so he quickly shook his head with a forced smile,

"Nothing, you mong, where did you get that idea?" Jay denied and Will rolled his eyes,

"Donovan told me." He remarked and Jay couldn't help but ask further questions to find out exactly what Donovan had told him,

"What has Donovan told you?" Jay officially started panicking whilst Will became quite highly suspicious or more so than he had been,

"Fucking hell, Jay, calm down. He didn't tell me much hence why I asked you." Will confirmed and sigh of relief was heard from Jay who was suddenly aware that his reaction might pose his friend with further questions and tried to compose himself as smoothly as possible. Will did want to find out more, granted, but he doubted he'd get an answer, let alone a truthful answer from Jay. Obviously, having only known Jay and indeed his other friends, Will wasn't entirely sure what the relationship had been like between the boys and Donovan. However, judging by Jay's reaction to the potential bullying he was receiving from Donovan, it was not a typical situation. Oh well, it was something he'd have to ask Simon about later. Maybe his best friend could enlighten him about the scenario. It wasn't any of his business and in all honesty, he didn't know an awful lot about Jay other than what he was quite forthright about; his misogyny and sex pest attributes.

Since, Will had been quiet about the whole situation, Jay was hoping that he was just going to forget about it and consider it something normal. But, what was worrying Jay was how free-spoken Donovan had been about the whole thing,

"Cartwright, McKenzie!" A voice yelled from one end of the corridor and immediately the two knew they'd better hurry to lesson when they spotted Mr. Gilbert's towering frame several feet away from them, "Put a hold on your mother's meeting and get to lesson. You never know, you might actually learn something."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Now this chapter is the scene that pretty much inspired me to write the whole fic. Seriously, go back and watch it and tell me there aren't any slashy-style relationship connotations behind it for Jay and Donovan.

Note that if you've not read the new version of Chapter 3 before this, that I uploaded like 5 minutes ago, you should probably go back and read it!

Here's your other Christmas gift as promised! Merry Christmas! :)

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><p><em>Chapter 4<em>

A few days had past since Jay's encounters with each of the boys. The group of friends met before school since it was a nice day, and because Simon's car was at a mechanics. Before officially walking to school, the group convened in Jay's family caravan in which he told them one of his bullshit stories about fucking some random girls on holiday. He was feeling particularly more confident than he had been recently. Most likely due to the fact that he hadn't seen Donovan since Monday and he was slowly reverting back to his previous self. Also, the pain from the bruise rib seemed to have lessened quite significantly, maybe because of the caution Jay had incorporated or because most of it had been psychological anyway.

After Jay's graphic description of how to use the space in your caravan and after he was confirmed to be a complete liar by his dick of a father. The group of boys decided it was time to head to school for another day. At which point, his friends decided to question some other lies he'd apparently told. Of course, Jay knew they were lies, he just wanted to sound impressive for a change. Make himself sound more interesting than he was. And more intelligent. Lying was the only way to go about that. Besides, he preferred to think of it as exaggerating. As they discussed their new found topic, they walked past a group of boys in their school uniforms. Jay turned to look at them and realised that one was Donovan. The rest of his friends also turned to look as did Donovan's, who were all smoking. Nothing major happened between them with the exception of a lengthy stare, that probably lasted for quite an awkward amount of time.

Once they were passed him, a brief discussion began about the drugs it was obvious Donovan was smoking. Of course Will had a lot to say about this topic. But Will had a lot to say about everything. Concerned that Donovan was still in hearing range of them, Jay attempted to stick up for him, which lead to even further lies about taking drugs. Sometimes he wished that he just didn't open his mouth, now Simon was telling a random girl that he could bring puff to a gig they had arranged to meet at. Jay knew this meant they were going to ask him for the drugs and he couldn't deliver. He didn't know how to get drugs!

"Thanks a fucking bunch, Jay!" Simon complained as Jay explained to him that his "drug dealer" was away trying to get drugs elsewhere. Naturally, it was a complete lie, but it was only ever meant to impress the others or maybe turn the focus to him. Or rather, turn Simon's focus to him anyway. He didn't give a shit whether Will was paying attention and Neil was always off in his own World anyway, "Will's right you are a total bullshitter!" He added and Jay rolled his eyes. Somehow, this always ended up being down to Will; he always interfered in some way that had negative consequences for Jay. Sometimes he was an all right guy, other times he was a pain in the arse,

"Don't blame me, drug dealers are unreliable." Jay shrugged, trying to sound as convincing as possible, which would hopefully not provoke further comment from Will. Obviously, he was keeping up the pretences that he actually had a drug dealer.

In truth, Jay was also a little scared about the idea of drugs in the first place. Not that he'd ever admit that. This way they wouldn't be doing drugs at all, since there weren't any drug dealers around here that any of the boy's knew of anyway,

"Could ask Donovan, Jay." Neil suggested like the retard he was. Somehow, it had slipped Jay's mind that they had seen Donovan smoking weed earlier and that's what had provided them with this whole sorry episode. This was probably the worst possible thing Neil could have suggested. Jay couldn't ask Donovan for anything. What the hell would Donovan ask for in return? Jay swallowed, which, annoyingly, Will picked up on,

"Unless, you're scared of him." He goaded. There was a moment where Jay thought that Donovan had told Will even more about what was going on between them, since Will had quite the "close" relationship with the latter himself, mainly through the form of daily bullying but still. Actually, a rush of happiness flooded the teenager, thinking that if Will knew precisely everything, he'd be smart enough to help him get out of it; completely forgetting about all the things that Will would know as consequence. But, unfortunately for him, Will said nothing further, nor showed any signs of awareness other than whatever Donovan had already told him. Jay wondered whether he should just tell them all or whether just saying he'd talk to Donovan would be better.

Choosing the second option didn't seem the smartest move, but it was certainly the easiest in the short term. On the plus side, Jay had persuaded Neil to come with him to see Donovan so that he wouldn't dare try anything. The bell had rang five minutes previous so Will and Simon headed to lessons whilst the other two had free periods, quite conveniently,

"Shall we go find Donovan, Jay?" Neil suggested as his friend just rummaged through his locker, seeming distracted, not that Neil would pick up on anything like that,

"What?" He questioned, shutting the locker and turning around, "Uh, yeah." He further muttered, realising what Neil had asked him. He was lost in a world of contemplation.

Both sauntered to the common room, where Mark was immediately spotted. They lingered in the entrance way before entirely entering, mainly because Jay was scared, more so than Neil was. Jay's taller friend moved forward prompting him to follow but cautiously. However, both stopped at the same time, when it became apparent that Mark was still high from whatever he had been smoking earlier. This could work in their favour, Jay realised, if the drugs had put him in a good mood but if the adverse affect had happened, then they'd probably be in trouble.

Donovan was currently buttering toast and quite violently when Neil quietly asked Jay,

"What if he throws the toaster at ya?" _He'll probably do more than that to me_, Jay thought to himself before trying to stay cool in front of Neil. He looked up seeming confused, not that it was hard to convince Neil of anything,

"Well, why would he do that, we're mates." He explained in his typical lying manner. Having said that, whilst Jay and Mark weren't exactly "mates", they more than definitely had a closer relationship than Neil thought. Not that he'd ever had any idea,

"Are ya?" He now questioned to Jay, not quite believing him but not immediately dismissing him. Jay wished they were just mates and that was all. In fact, he wished things would go back to the way they used to be where Donovan just hated them all and occasionally picked on Will but it never seemed quite as bad as how he bullied Jay. It took him a couple of minutes to realise that Neil had asked him something,

"Sort of." Jay admitted; telling the complete truth for once in his life. Granted they weren't mates. But Jay had a feeling that Donovan wasn't just doing this because he could, he must be getting something from it. Maybe he had a crush on Jay or worse, he might just hate Jay so much that this was the best way to get back at him. Being quite a pessimist at the minute, Jay assumed the latter was true. Just then Donovan stopped his buttering to turn to Neil and Jay, who, because of his intoxication, he had not noticed previously,

"What the fuck are you two queers doing?" He snapped, trying to scare Jay without giving everything away. He knew this would get to him, "Checking out my arse or something?" He added and Jay stared back, looking intimidated. This could only end really, really badly for him since it hadn't started exceptionally either.

"Right, come on, let's go." He mumbled to Neil and then turned around, but Neil headed forward and Jay stopped heading for the door and quite reluctantly followed his friend,

"No, we just wanted a word." Neil explained to Donovan. Jay had to admire his friends calmness; even if Jay and Mark didn't have their little secrets, he'd still be too scared to actually talk to Donovan at risk of being beat up or moving even further down the social ladder than they already were,

"Prick. There's a word." Mark quite seriously stated and raised an eyebrow towards Jay, who slightly panicked at what his gesture meant so he quickly apologised for whatever he'd done wrong and slightly bowed, which was obviously a weird form of apology unless you knew the secret relationship him and Donovan had. Of course, Neil didn't notice anything odd and continued on their endeavour to get drugs,

"We wanted to ask if you could sort us some puff?" Neil quite forwardly said as Jay was still trying to back out of the common room and pretend this never happened. But, no, Neil was too insistent,

"Have you lost your retarded minds?" Donovan asked,

"It's just that Jay's mate's in Afghanistan." Neil informed him and Jay couldn't help but think how, in his own weird way, Neil had just confirmed that they had indeed lost their retarded minds,

"What?" Mark questioned, not actually caring what the ridiculous story was behind what had lead these two mongs to him. A confused stare was met by Neil who looked at his friend, wondering what was so puzzling about the story that he had told them. But he shrugged and turned back to Donovan,

"Nah, look, we'll pay." Jay exclaimed, finally saying something useful to Mark,

"How much you got?" Donovan asked, looking directly at Jay and addressing him in the same manner. As the tone of Mark sounded quite serious when he asked his question, Jay felt quite safe to move closer for now. He took out the money and swiftly displayed it to the other boy,

"About 20 quid." He muttered and Donovan quickly, yet swiftly grabbed the money from the other's hand,

"That'll do you a special team twat deal." He muttered, quite maliciously and despite the ridiculous nickname Neil and Jay along with their band of friends had acquired, it genuinely seemed like Donovan was preparing them some cannabis. Both boys looked at each other with pleased smiles; Neil was simply because they had succeeded whilst Jay's was because he could finally prove that his bullshit stories weren't actually bullshit combined with the fact that this meeting with Mark had gone surprisingly better than expected.

Regrettably for Jay and Neil, who were now watching Donovan as he emptied tea into cling film, their felicitous expressions soon disappeared as they realised their peer had no intention of giving them actual drugs. It wasn't that Mark was so low in drug supplies that he was now smoking tea, it was generally that he didn't exactly want to give them drugs. Well, not Neil, he'd sell Neil drugs. But if he gave Jay drugs, it would be like he was damaged goods. What use was he to Mark if he was off his head or worse ill from the narcotics? There was that and also he didn't want to see Jay get hurt. Yes, he realised he'd hurt Jay himself but he'd regretted that after. It was a momentary lapse. And now the thought of him getting injured in some way again because of him was not something he'd like to see come to fruition. Not that Donovan liked Jay. Not in the slightest. He hated Cartwright, obviously.

The tea leaves were now completely wrapped and he handed them to the two friends, "There you go." He announced and both of them started laughing, quite uncomfortably. Laughing because of the tea Donovan was trying to pass off as drugs and uncomfortably because they weren't sure whether this was a joke or not,

"Nah, come on." Jay remarked, still smiling slightly in case it was meant to be humorous,

"What?" Mark enquired, pretending to be entirely stupid and not realise that he'd given them some Earl Grey,

"Nah, c'mon, seriously Mark, that's..."

"Puff." Donovan finished his sentence, slightly smirking at the fact that Jay had called him "Mark" and not "Donovan", which most people called him. Not that Jay had any right to call him Mark, they should not be on a first name basis or he shouldn't anyway,

"Well, no, it's tea, like normal tea." Jay corrected, "We just saw you empty the bags."

"Are you calling me a liar?" Donovan questioned, returning to his usually baleful self, "Disrespecting me, are ya?" Jay faltered for a second; just as Mark had returned to his normal self, Jay was returning to his cowardly self,

"No, it's just that you did it right in front of us." He pointed out before Donovan quickly added,

"I'm gonna give you a chance to apologise for that." Jay was slightly conflicted for a moment. If he did apologise, then he probably would avoid further harassment from Mark, however, Neil would witness this submissive behaviour he exhibited. Then again, if he didn't apologise, he knew Donovan would use this as some excuse to beat him up again or possibly worse but he'd still retain his dignity in front of Neil. After weighing out the pros and cons quickly in his head, apologising seemed the better option, mainly because Neil was exactly the brightest bulb,

"Right, yeah, no, sorry, but..." He stammered, when he realised he didn't know how long he'd been in thought. It might have been an instant apology for all he knew,

"But what?" Donovan brooded and Jay froze for a second. His tone reminded him of that night in the common room. It scared him. And realising that Donovan may be having similar thoughts for right now whilst Neil was present, he swallowed,

"Nothing."

"And?" Donovan continued. Jay paused a second as he worked out what else Mark wanted from them,

"Thank you for the puff?" He hoped that was what Mark wanted him to say and he was relieved when the other started nodding. Jay took the chance to leave now, before anything else bad happened to them,

"Don't smoke it all at once." He finalised as Neil and Jay hurried out of the common room.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Hope you've all had a good Christmas and the New Year is treating you well. Enjoy!**

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><p>The past few weeks had not been as bad as Jay thought they might be in all honesty. He'd seen little of Donovan with the exception of a couple more back alley blow jobs but it hadn't progressed passed that. The only problem that had occurred, however, was that Simon had acquired a girlfriend named Tara. Granted, Simon seemed relatively happy with her and all but it had struck Jay with a crippling jealousy. A jealousy that made him question whether his feelings for Simon were more than just a school boy crush. But he had tried not to think about it too much. Besides which, their relationship hadn't lasted very long anyway. Not that Jay was proud to admit it but he was sort of the reason behind the break up after he provided Simon with some made-up sexual advice that went very much awry for his crush.<p>

Donovan, on the other hand, had not forgotten about Jay. It was more that his own feelings were betraying him and the more he saw of Jay, the more he liked him. Something within him disliked this and it most often than not meant that Jay bore the brunt of Donovan. In turn, this made him feel even worse and he'd want to apologise to Jay but then that would be admitting he actually liked him in some messed up way. That was the last thing he wanted to admit.

Plus, something else had infuriated him and that was Jay's unrelenting crush on his friend Cooper. Oh yes, Donovan had noticed. At first, when Jay had simply been looking through Cooper's Facebook, it had seemed a relatively normal friendship, no matter how Donovan had spinned it to Jay. However, since he'd inexplicably got himself a girlfriend, Mark had noted the longing in Jay's eyes for Simon as well as the hatred for his bird. Not that Donovan had been watching Jay in the common room. He wouldn't do that. But if he had been watching Jay, and had seen what he saw, he would've been a trifle pissed at Cooper. Jay was _his._

"All right, benders." Jay greeted as he saw his friends in one corner of the common room. Donovan silently laughed at the irony of Jay's insult; if only his friends knew,

"Jay!" Neil exclaimed, quite happily as he usually did when Jay arrived anywhere. It wasn't that Neil disliked Will and Simon, it's just that Jay was definitely his best friend and didn't make him feel like a retard most of the time, "Where've you been all weekend, mate?" He inquisitively asked, noting the lack of Jay's presence this weekend. Donovan began to listen more tentatively, wondering what incredible story Cartwright might come up with as to his absence. Naturally, he wouldn't tell the truth since on Saturday, Mark and Jay had shared one of their, now weekly, blow job meetings,

"Oh not much..." Jay began as he flung his bag to the ground and slumped into the seat next to Neil, contemplating what excuse he could use. He paused remembering the further degradation he'd suffered over the weekend but then realised it actually wasn't that bad anymore. It wasn't good but it wasn't bad. Donovan hadn't beaten him this time and he was getting slightly better at sucking cock in his opinion. Not that he could brag to his friends about his excellent fellatio skills, "Lovely little threesome with this barmaid..." He began, "...and part time stripper..." he winked at Neil, who smiled to display his impressed look, "...and my next door neighbour." He announced, proudly, "I tell you, they both went like horny rabbits, I got too tired towards they end so they just let me watch them suck each other's tits." He nodded,

"Brilliant!" Neil stated and started to imagine it, storing it in his 'Visual Wankbank' as it were,

"Oh bollocks!" Will protested, completely disregarding Jay's story as the truth. God, Jay hated Will sometimes. Donovan hated Will too for his incessant moaning about everything, he was enjoying Jay's fascinating albeit fake story,

"Isn't your neighbour 80 years old?" Simon remarked as Jay just looked at him for a while. As much as he hated Will calling him up on his bullshit stories, he hated it even more when Simon did it. He used to believe him before Will came along. Briefcase wanker.

From afar, Mark noted the lengthy stare that Jay was partaking in with Cooper, who, in all honesty, looked confused. The jealousy built up inside him. He felt the need to hit something (or someone) and soon,

"Nah, this was her granddaughter." Jay covered, realising he had been staring at Simon for more than an acceptable amount of time,

"Whatever." He passive aggressively muttered which only made Donovan slightly more jealous, but also aggravated him. How could Cartwright want him when he showed absolutely zero interest in him? Jay should want him and only him.

Mr. Gilbert entered the common room and requested the presence of Will and Neil. Mark heard him muttering something about one being too smart and the other being too stupid making them the perfect team for something the headmaster was planning. The head of sixth form forgot to specify who was supposedly the intelligent one and who was the retarded on out of the two. Either way, their departure left Jay and Simon in quite a comfortable silence.

Simon simply returned to a sheet he'd been reading before Jay had arrived and the latter was just glancing around the common room. It only took him a few moments to register that Donovan had been watching him this whole time and was still staring now over from the kitchen area. Wondering how much the bully had heard, Jay was inadvertently staring back. This went on for a few moments before Simon went to ask Jay something related to the notes he was reading and picked up on the way the two boys were looking at each other. Donovan at Jay with a brooding kind of look and Jay at Donovan with a more guilty and intimidated. The spikey haired boy pondered for a moment about what could have possibly happened between the two boys to cause this almost psychic intervention,

"Jay?" He questioned, which broke Jay's stare with Donovan as he turned his attention to Simon, "You know the other week when I came to pick you up?" He questioned as Jay nodded, wondering where this was going, "Had you been with Donovan?" He whispered so that Mark couldn't hear the two's conversation. Although, Jay's facial expression screamed the answer to Simon, the teenager still completely denied it. But Simon could tell; after 12 years of being friends, he knew when Jay was lying.

Donovan had subconsciously moved closer when Simon's voice had quietened down. Since there was only Simon, Jay and Mark in the room, it would suggest that either Simon had some private issues or whatever he was saying was about Donovan. And if it was Mark was going to find out,

"Donovan? Wh-why would I've have been with Donovan?" Jay mumbled to Simon, with a hint of panic in his tone; had Simon worked everything out? Was that even possible? Suddenly, his worries about Simon were discharged when he noticed Donovan walking over, just watching them. Clearly, he'd heard his name being mentioned,

"You disrespecting me?" He demanded to know from both the boys. Simon just looked mad at himself that he hadn't realised Donovan was within hearing range of them whilst Jay was more worried about what Donovan might do or say to his friend,

"No, sorry Mark." He muttered to Donovan as Simon nodded in agreement,

"That's funny, could've swore one of you mentioned my name." He looked between both boys, trying to intimated one of them into confessing. Naturally, he figured Jay would crack first probably to protect Simon. Jay went to answer as he really didn't want to see Simon get beat up because of him, not again anyway. It had happened after the Danny Moore incident as well as the bus wankers incident and he'd been flooded with guilt after both times. Of course, different people have different ways of dealing with guilt. Jay's way was just to ignore it, usually by taking the piss of someone else so that he'd forget his own problems for a change and focus on someone else's.

Jay had lost himself in his train of thought before answering and Simon slid in, telling Donovan the complete truth,

"I was only asking Jay if he'd been out with you the other night." He tried his best to quite calmly explain; he didn't want to seem like he was scared of Donovan nor that he was nervous otherwise the bully might be persuaded not to believe the truth,

"No, no, no, it was me that mentioned you, Mark, not Simon." For once in his life, Jay could protect Simon without any consequences to himself. Well, no consequences which Donovan wasn't already planning on inflicting on him,

"Then he's lying to me and if there's one thing I hate more than being disrespected, it's been lied to." Donovan threatened to Simon who muttered a swear word to Jay under his breath for getting him in trouble with the school psycho,

"I'm sorry, sorry." was all that Simon could muster up to say to Donovan and he kept repeating it, hoping that somehow hearing it multiple times would convince Mark just how sorry he was. Not that Simon was genuinely sorry since he'd literally not done anything wrong except ask Jay a private question, but then Donovan didn't need to know that. Donovan edged a little closer to Simon, as if he was going to hit him but he stopped himself before reaching Simon's face and just laughed instead. Jay watched from his seat and sighed, wondering how he could help Simon but without getting himself in trouble in the process or getting Simon in any further trouble.

It was the last thing you really wanted to see, the person you had quite-strong-bordering-on-love feelings for getting attacked because the person who was in denial about having feelings for you but was still getting sexual services out of it anyway was jealous. Well, the last thing you wanted to see and a mixture of both confusing and rare events also. Fortunately for Jay, he didn't have to witness it, as he quickly stood up before Mark officially caused Simon any physic injury,

"Leave him alone, Mark and I'll, I'll..." The teenager hesitated before completing his sentence, realising that if Simon heard it, not matter what way Jay twisted it, it naturally implied something. One of the things he did not want to do was reveal everything to Simon, not all at once, which at the very least, this wouldn't, he swallowed and cryptically muttered, "...I'll meet you tonight." Donovan raised an eyebrow and smiled slightly, forgetting Cooper was within less than a meter of where he was stood but he couldn't help it. Denying his feelings did not seem to work and the closer he got to Cartwright, the deeper he fell. Before realising where he was, Donovan had leant into kiss Jay, something which the other was not expecting in the slightest. Luckily, for both boys, he stopped short and Simon didn't seem to suspect anything.

Soon after that Mark exited the common room and with him left a lingering, awkward silence. Simon would fill the silence but his brain was too busy in thought, trying to analyse what exactly was going on between Jay and Mark. Also in thought was Jay; he, however, was busy trying to come up with a solution as to why he had said what he'd said to Donovan. If he was lucky Simon wouldn't question it further, he wouldn't answer further and it would never be brought up again. That would be the perfect World anyway,

"Seriously, Jay, what's going on with you and Donovan?" He asked quite loudly as they were still the only two in the common room; there was a good 30 minutes left until dinner and the two had a free period together. Jay, once again, found himself in the position where he wanted to confess everything to Simon, hoping it would instil some kind of sympathy from the other boy and then maybe Simon would help him. But that niggling feeling kept returning that if his friend found out everything, including Jay's crush, then he'd never want to speak to Jay again. He couldn't risk that. Unless he told Simon, but not directly if that was indeed possible. Like through a code somehow,

"Business..." Jay muttered, slightly off-beat,

"Business. Right." Simon stated, deciding that Jay wasn't going to tell him, but still a little dubious. He just hoped his friend was all right, but if he directly stated he was worried about Jay, he'd probably get labelled as a bender or whatever Jay chose to call him this time around.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

Donovan had knocked on the door of the Cartwright household. It had now become quite a usual occurrence and there was a firm sense of familiarity within it. Excitement was quite the usual feeling for Mark, before he met Jay, not that Jay knew that, of course. For Jay, it was still blackmail rather than for fun; it was still because he had to and not because he wanted to, whereas Donovan saw it the other way around. Mark had started taking Jay back to his flat rather than into town as he lived alone ever since his mum had died. But that was a different story. The alleyway that Jay had experienced the first time had been used on other occasions but now the flat seemed to be their permanent location. Donovan had decided that he should try and treat Jay slightly better, in the hopes that his companion would stop seeing it as forced and start seeing it as fun. Although, he had his inclinations that Jay was enjoying it on some level. Mainly as he developed a boner during everything they did. Not that what they had done had been more than a blow job or a hand job. Everything had pretty much been the same, right down to the time Jay meandered back home.

Jay was sort of getting used to this now. He still wasn't completely on board and still would substitute Simon for Mark any day but he wasn't admitting that anytime soon; he'd take what he could get. And if that was a psychopathic bully who got his kicks from forcing his male peers into sexual acts then so be it. At least Donovan had stopped beating him. He was thankful for that. And he'd not tried to have sex with him, which Jay was highly dubious about trying (or being forced into as the case may be). It wasn't a perfect situation, he was just making the best of an imperfect situation.

This time around, however, just before Donovan had called for Jay, two other people had been heading there, purely by coincidence. You see, Will and Simon had been out and were on their way to Jay's to invite him out also. Neither boy had anything to do, hence their decision to wander around the estate. Their plan, no matter how sporadic it may have been, did not foresee Donovan arriving at Jay's house first. Simon stopped and grabbed Will's shoulder to make sure he came to a halt so that Donovan couldn't see them. The shorter boy went to protest or question Simon's actions but before he could, he received a shush, followed by a gesture to glance around the caravan in the drive. Upon doing so, Will was not as surprised as Simon was expecting,

"What's going on?" He whispered to Will as quietly as possible, knowing that if Donovan overheard them, they'd all be in trouble of some form or another,

"Donovan mentioned something about harassing Jay a few weeks ago now, I did ask Jay about it but he was about as useful as he always is." Will explained to Simon in a tone similar to his friends so not to attract any unwanted attention. Both boys had planned to talk to one another, each after their individual conversations with Jay a while ago now, but it had slipped their minds; they'd written the conversations off as meaningless. Now, however, the information was flooding back, although it still made no sense.

The boys, who were still hid behind the caravan, collated all their knowledge of recent events together to try to piece what had been happening into something logical. Despite their efforts, neither could make sense of the weird relationship that had sprung between Jay and Donovan,

"Maybe we should follow them." Simon suggested, in quite an excitable tone, whilst Will watched Donovan and Jay walk off in the opposite direction to them,

"What? Oh, don't be ridiculous Simon. I want to know what's going on as much as you but neither of us is exactly James Bond; I don't think spying is really in our nature." He complained, quite rightly to Simon who sighed,

"But if Jay's in trouble, we need to help him." Simon tried to argue back, rather futilely since he knew that Will probably wouldn't care all too much if their mutual friend was in danger,

"It's not like he'd do the same for us." Will retorted as Simon recalled several events where he had got the blame for Jay's antics and therefore Jay had been doing purely the opposite of helping him out. But at the same time, Simon could also recall memories in which Jay actually helped him in the best way possible. Well, got him out of trouble at least. He remembered when they were kids about 7 or 8 and he'd accidentally broke one of Mrs. Cartwright's vases and Jay quite readily had took the blame. Jay's dad had gone ballistic. Evidently, it had been an expensive gift from him or something. Of course, if Simon had known at the time what Jay's father was like then he'd have took the blame. There were other moments too where Jay had helped him out or at the very least tried to. Particularly when Simon had asked for help. Whereas, Jay, if he was in trouble or even danger, he'd be the last to ask for help. And Simon knew it,

"I'm following them with or without you." Simon decided and started heading off to catch up with Donovan and Jay as much as he could. Will rolled his eyes and muttered a "Fine." under his breath and dragged his feet along to catch up with Simon who was practically running.

Fortunately, Jay and Mark's journey was all on foot. What Simon and Will certainly weren't expecting, however, was how far they walked. Right into town, which was at least a mile away. Things had just gone from bad to worse in their attempt to follow the two when they'd disappeared into a high rise of flats. The two had sat on a bench across from the building at which they had a vantage point of the entrance in and the exit out so if they returned, Simon and Will would know. The bench was also perfect for the boys to rest on, since both were officially worn out after walking the mile into town, the rough end of town at that,

"I don't know whether I like this part of town, Si." Will admitted between trying to catch his breath, "I'm slightly scared, if someone tries to sell me drugs, I'm..." He stopped mid-sentence in realisation,

"I don't know whether drug dealers are the worst things around here." Simon remarked as he noticed what looked like a dead rat on the floor. He turned away to face Will instead, who was waiting for Simon to catch up with his thinking. It wasn't happening. Obviously, Will had to point out the apparent.

There was never much conversation between Mark and Jay when they met. But then conversation wasn't really what they were about. Plus, Jay was too scared to say anything and Donovan wasn't entirely sure what to talk about since the two didn't seem to have much in common. Any talk between the two usually went along the lines of Donovan telling Jay what they were doing and then Jay getting on with it. That was practically it. This time was no exception as they entered Donovan's fifth floor flat. Both boys took off their coat, in sort of a routinely manner as if they were very much practised in this (which they pretty much were now) and Donovan either sat on the sofa or his bed whilst Jay followed. Today was the bed, which Jay definitely preferred. Simply because it was comfier than the other choice,

"Hand job." Donovan instructed in the most minimalistic way possible, but Jay was used to it by now. Too used it, if anything as he sat to the side of Donovan and started undoing the other boy's trousers. Hand jobs were definitely Jay's preferred method as he was essentially an expert at it, given the amount of previous experience he'd got. Mark had picked up on this without a doubt and was more than eager to let Jay gain more experience. He released Donovan's cock, which wasn't already hard, meaning Jay had to do all the difficult work. Grabbing some lotion that seemed to be a permanent fixture of Mark's bedside table, Jay squeezed an exact amount into his own hand and placed it back to it's rightful spot. Then he slowly got to work on wanking Mark off. Jay knew all the tricks in the book when it came to masturbation so could spend a minimum of 30 seconds wanking or a maximum of 10 minutes. But when it was with Donovan, the former always won as Jay didn't want to spend any extra time here. His moves didn't quite transfer as well to Mark, he'd found, however. But it still didn't last an entire 10 minutes and he was usually home before anyone realised he was missing either way. Not that anyone really paid attention to him at home.

"He's doing drugs?" Simon contemplated Will's theory about Jay and Donovan's new found friendship. He was having some trouble believing the theory. Yes, Jay had done drugs once but it wasn't exactly a fun experience for them. Then again, Will was always the most intelligent of their group and was more than likely to deduce the right conclusion. And, to be fair, Jay hadn't personally reacted badly to the cannabis they had once took. In fact, it seemed like he'd quite enjoyed it,

"Obviously." Will confirmed and looked back up at the the high rise building in disgust. Will wasn't exactly sure why he was disgusted; he'd come to expect stupid things from Jay. Still, it was most certainly wasn't a commendable activity, quite the opposite in fact. He tutted up at the building, dreading to think what else might take part in the flats. You could definitely bet that it wasn't the sort of diverting place that the high rise from Only Fools and Horses was like, "Are you satisfied now, Si, can we go?" He questioned to his friend who was clearly deep in thought. Will could understand why, if he had been friends as long as Simon and Jay had then he'd be worried too. However, Will could look at it from a discerning perspective whilst Simon's views of Jay may be slightly more clouded. The theory which Will had devised was evidently the most logical,

"No." Simon shook his head, "If it were just drugs, I'm sure Jay would tell us. I mean he was really open about it the last time." He argued and Will considered it for a moment but disagreed almost instantly afterwards,

"Can't you just ask him what he's been doing with Donovan?" Will suggested studying the time and hoping that they weren't still in this neighbourhood when it got dark, which would be very soon,

"I tried that and he said 'Business'." Simon replied and Will rolled his eyes. Business only further suggested what was going off up there was no more than drug dealing.

A sigh quietly echoed in Mark's bathroom as Jay caught his reflection in the mirror and was reminded that it was him in this situation. He'd gone in there to wash his hands after leaving Donovan a reasonably satisfied customer. Although, the teenager had probably lingered in the bathroom for a suspicious period of time now and should really be going back to Mark and hoping he'd just dismiss Jay so that he could head home. Of course, it wasn't always that way. Sometimes Mark had a habit of keeping Jay around for longer than he wanted to be, which was excruciatingly tedious. If anything he preferred the blow jobs and hand jobs. At least he was serving some purpose then and wasn't just sat around. Jay quickly dried his hands on a towel that was situated just next to the doorway and then headed out and was immediately greeted with an all too familiar site of Donovan still laid on the bed. He wasn't doing anything. Just laying there with his eyes on Jay; it very much unnerved him, more so than the rest of the experience.

Mark was quite unaware of the way he watched Jay leave the bathroom. He was too deep in thought about how he could get Jay to stay slightly longer. Sometimes he just didn't tell him to leave and he stayed around. But more recently, the boy was getting all too comfortable with this scenario and often took the initiative and left. Donovan liked having company and especially liked having Jay for company. If only he could think of an excuse. Naturally, if he could be honest with Jay, he'd ask him to cuddle or something affectionate like that. Something that showed gratitude. But Mark was scared that Jay would become all too comfortable with him then. Less afraid. He couldn't have that. So, cuddling, no matter how much he wanted it was out of the question for now. But that still meant he needed something to occupy Jay a while longer. To keep Jay around was the next best thing. He got off the bed and walked to the kitchenette, poured two alcoholic drinks and shoved one into Jay's hand,

"Have a drink." Mark demanded, he originally thought about offering Jay a drink but then he could say no. This way Jay would probably be too scared to say no. He seemed to inspect the glass of the clear vodka type liquid with scepticism; Donovan might have drugged it or something. He didn't really want a drink but he didn't want to refuse Donovan, not while they were alone anyway. He watched the other boy drink his in a down-in-one fashion and concluded that it couldn't be drugged because both glasses had been poured from the same bottle. He sipped it slightly and grimaced at the strong taste. The clear vodka liquid was not vodka by all accounts, "Never had sambuca before?" Donovan questioned as he displayed the bottle to Jay who slowly shook his head. He would have answered aloud but his throat was recovering from the drink and he was a little taken aback at Mark's tone, which had turned slightly soft, "2 or 3 more shots and you'll be able to down 'em." Donovan assured and slightly winked at Jay. This drink was very strong indeed. Jay decided he would stick to small sips of it.

Mark was sort of pleased with himself, firstly, for having the good sense to buy sambuca since no-one seemed to drink it around here and secondly for choosing a drink that he had quite a tolerance too whilst Jay didn't. Three shots down and Mark's guest was already obviously tipsy, given the way he seemed to be having trouble standing straight. Suddenly, Donovan realised that if he got Jay drunk enough, the cuddle or intimacy he wanted would be easier to obtain and Jay would probably not remember it the next day. He smiled as Jay downed another shot,

"You were right, M-Mark." Jay slurred after his fifth shot, "Can down 'em." He nodded and steadied himself on the sofa behind. With the high alcohol content in sambuca, it really didn't take much to get a person drunk. In theory you were supposed to set a light to the drink to burn off most of the alcohol but this was working more to his advantage. Donovan, himself, however, had only had two shots and drank it a lot of the time so he was quite used to it. It was having quite the minimal effect on him. As far as spur of the moment plans went, this one was definitely winning.

It didn't take much persuading to lead Jay to the bed to cuddle so before Mark knew it they were heading back to the bedroom and both laid on it. He realised just how bad his feelings for Jay were getting. Not only did he want to see him more frequently, but now he wanted to cuddle him. It was very effeminate but this is how he'd treated Charlotte and he was very much starting to like Jay as much as he liked Charlotte, "Fuck." He muttered under his breath so that Jay who was now in very close proximity to him (as they were both laid on the bed) couldn't hear him. He should be doing everything he could to prevent liking Jay, not to keep liking him more. Unless, it was something he needed to get out of his system. In which case, this was a very good thing,

"Mark, whys d-do you like me?" Jay slurred again, obviously more confident when he was drunk, but then alcohol was frequently referred to as "Dutch courage"; there was apparently truth behind the name,

"Who said I liked you, Cartwright?" He asked back, not in his usual tone, in a softer tone since all of this would be a blur to Jay in the morning,

"I-I'm dr-unk, but I'm no-not stupid. You wouldn't k-keep invitin' me 'round if y-you didn' like m-me." He responded and turned to face Mark who didn't really have an answer for him and now really hoped that Jay didn't remember this in the morning. Otherwise he might think there was no reason to be scared of Donovan anymore. Mark suddenly recalled the other reason he wanted to get Jay drunk, to discuss having actual sex with him. He wasn't precisely sure how homosexual sex worked. He knew the ins and outs but not everything. In a way he wanted Jay's opinion, like they were in a proper relationship together. But yet again, he couldn't discuss it with a sober Jay since that might evoke less fear in him. If Jay was drunk, however, at least Donovan could gage an honest reaction from him.

Will was now at his wits end, waiting for Simon to be done with this spying kick he was on. Being quite scared of this neighbourhood was all that was stopping him from heading home alone, not that Simon would provide much protection when or indeed if they walked home together. At least it wasn't raining was Will's bright side of things as Simon suddenly stood up from the bench,

"Are we going home or have you had some form of Jay related epiphany?" He questioned, obviously hoping that it was the former. Ignoring Will's sarcasm, Simon grabbed his phone and frantically text someone,

"I will assume that means your having your Jay related epiphany." Will sighed as Simon sat back down, this time next to Will as opposed to on a separate bench,

"For as long as I've known Jay, he's never been completely honest with me about his life..." Simon began and Will realised this may be a long speech knowing Simon and it probably wouldn't lead anywhere particularly interesting either. Particularly since it had started out with the rather apparent fact that Jay was a complete bullshitter,

"Jay? Disingenuous? Never." Will dryly remarked back and hoped that Simon would actually lead somewhere with this,

"No, he doesn't tell me and you stuff, but he tells Neil. We'll just call Neil!" He explained excitedly but Will had trouble sharing his enthusiasm, knowing full well that their dimwitted friend would probably not provide much help in this situation. Besides which, they had tried calling for him earlier and he seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth again. He did that quite often. Disappear without warning. Will had decided he'd got a job that he'd not told anyone about, although maybe he'd told Jay. They did seem to know a lot about each other's history Neil and Jay, especially to say that Simon had known Jay longer. Maybe Simon was actually onto something,

"Why don't you just ring him?" Will suggested and took out his own phone, searching for the right contact rather than waiting for Simon to text him and then having to wait for a reply. At least if Neil came, Will could go home.

It had been about five minutes since Donovan had brought up the conversation of sex and quite frankly he was regretting it. Not because Jay had told him no, but because he had literally not shut up about the conversation. Evidently, Jay had many stories about sex, although, their authenticity was highly questionable. But Mark listened to the other boy for a little while longer before officially shutting him up, with a kiss.

Maybe it was because Donovan wasn't thinking straight due to his alcohol consumption or maybe it was because in his inebriated state, Jay was looking more entrancing than he ever had before. Besides, there was no danger. Jay wouldn't remember this. That's what Donovan was hoping anyway as his tongue slid slightly further into Jay's mouth. The other boy certainly wasn't rejecting Mark's kiss by all means. If anything, he was actually spurring the kiss on further, well as best he could whilst drunk. But that was it, wasn't it? Jay was drunk, if he'd been sober, Donovan deduced that they'd be no way he'd kiss back in such a passionate form as he was trying.

Mark pulled away realising this was sort of like taking advantage. Granted, that's what he'd been doing during their whole relationship (if you could call it that) but this time it was different. It felt more real, possibly because of the kissing. There had been no kissing before. Never. This now seemed like an actual relationship, like Jay actually returned Mark's feelings for him. Like he was forgetting about that twat Simon and was falling for Mark instead. No.

Mark sighed as Jay tried to resume the kissing, regretting getting Jay drunk.

He told Jay to leave and he reluctantly did so, grabbing his coat, quite unsteadily, and trying to co-ordinate himself before heading out the door. The stairs were tricky due to his drunken state, but he managed to get down them without breaking anything and soon he was out the exit,

"Si, isn't that Jay over there?" Will perked up after trying to call Neil several times and finally giving in. Simon squinted across the road from the building where they had been sat and slowly nodded. Will noted the way Jay was wobbling around, "Are you 100% sure it wasn't drugs, Simon?"

"Shut up, Will! We'd better go check to see if he's all right." He suggested, quite wisely and Will just sighed, following his friend straight across the road to meet Jay,

"Simon!" Jay smiled and sort of tumbled forward into Simon, who fortunately caught him but not before both boys went toppling over. Simon groaned as Jay landed on top of him and Will just stood watching them both scramble up and silently laughing during the process. Once both boys were back to standing positions, Will ceased laughing and got straight to the point,

"What have you been doing with Donovan?" Jay didn't seemed phased by the fact that Will and Simon knew he had been with Donovan, but he was still drunk, however,

"Drinking." Jay smiled and started heading home before noticing neither boy was following, "C'mon guys." He yelled and they both followed. Simon caught up with Jay to help keep him steady whilst walking and surprisingly, Will did the same. Neither really talked much, not with Jay providing them with some excellent drunken information and they were back on their estate in no time.


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n Thanks for all your reviews, guys, I read them all and their genuinely appreciated!**

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><p>"I don't get it." Neil shrugged to Simon and Will then took a bite of his toast. The three boys were sat in the common room, after the proceedings of yesterday. Since their attempts to contact Neil had proved unsuccessful, they had waited until today to tell him everything that had happened and also to find out what he knew about the scenario. Clearly, this had proven to be very little. Jay was absent from school due to the hangover he had woken up with this morning at Simon's house.<p>

Yes, he'd slept at Si's house but only because being the good friend he was and knowing exactly what sort of family Jay had, Simon had said that he could crash there until he was sober enough or well enough to go home. Simon's parents didn't mind either as they also had an inkling as to what Jays family were like. So, he was now laid on his best friend's floor, trying to clear his head, partially from the headache he'd got from drinking, but mainly because he was trying to remember the proceedings of last night. Everything was a blur. The time between the third or fourth shot and arriving at Simon's house seemed to have vanished from memory with the exception of certain things, like talking to Mark. He remembered that. The topic of the conversation was a mystery but he definitely talked to him about something. Also, he distinctly recalled falling on top of Simon; he liked that memory a little too much. Things were concerning him, however. Like how Will and Simon knew that Jay was at Mark's and what he told them about their relationship, if anything. And what if he'd said something to Donovan to make him angry? Then he'd be in for it. This drinking thing was a lot more trouble than it was worth.

Jay sighed and sat up, recoiling slightly when his head started throbbing. The house was empty apart from him as Simon's family had all either left for work or school. But Jay had been to this house enough to know where everything was and to feel comfortable enough to help himself, if he needed. Heading downstairs to the kitchen, Jay had to steady himself a few times but successfully managed to reach his destination. He located some aspirin and knocked it back with a swig of water. He headed to the living room and laid on the sofa whilst the drugs kicked in.

"What can you not get about it, Neil? Jay went to Donovan's flat last night and was in there a good four hours before coming out drunk and he wouldn't tell us what he'd been doing." Simon tried to explain as clearly as possible to his less than intelligent friend.

"Not entirely true, Si, he did say all he'd done in there was drinking. Maybe we're just overlooking the fact that Donovan and Jay could just be friends." Will added and Simon sighed, ignoring his friends comment; he was determined that something else was going on between the two and he'd find out what if it killed him. Not that it probably would kill him,

"Has Jay said anything to you, Neil?" For a moment, Neil genuinely looked in thought and possibly that he might be onto something, but this was soon dismissed when he just shrugged and got back to his toast,

"Brilliant." Simon sarcastically commented and then went back to over-thinking the whole situation in case he was blatantly missing something,

"Actually..." Neil began as Simon looked at him wide-eyed and suddenly interested, "...I noticed Jay was acting weird the other month when we went to get drugs from Donovan." He explained, "All apologetic and stuff."

"And you didn't think to mention this sooner?" Simon demanded, not sure if this information was important or not but it would probably all account to something, he was sure of it. Then again, maybe he was slightly obsessed by all this for some reason. It was just something different to think about, other than his love for Carli D'Amato or the stress of exams and university. It was taking his mind off things by focussing his mind on one thing. That and he was genuinely worried about Jay,

"But Jay's always like that 'round Donovan." Neil remarked,

"Are you free tonight?" Simon asked, seemingly randomly to both Will and Neil. Both boys nodded, albeit reluctantly on Will's part, "Then we're going to Jay's about the same time as last night and seeing if Donovan turns up." Simon planned for them and Will rolled his eyes,

"For what? Like Neil's going to have anything remotely valid or interesting to say on the matter!"

"He has got a point, Si." Neil blatantly agreed with Will, however, whether he knew what he was agreeing with was an entirely debatable point.

Despite their arguments, the three boys were at Jay's or rather, in the vicinity of Jay's house that evening. It was around the same time as last night, in the hopes that Donovan was quite consistent in when he arrived. Even if he did arrive, chances of seeing him were minimal, since only Simon was observing the doorway from behind the caravan; Neil was absent-mindedly playing a game on his portable console whilst Will had brought a book along, foreshadowing that tonight may be as long as yesterday. The spikey-haired boy simply rolled his eyes and continued watching. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to an hour, Will and Neil were growing very much impatient but Simon didn't care. He would find out what was happening.

It was a safe assumption that Simon had an obsessive personality. Generally, it was when it came to girls like Carli. He'd loved Carli for 10 years now and to his despair, they were still only friends, barely that. His long and burning ache for her was beginning to dwindle. Specifically after he started dating Tara; she became his obsession, what he wanted and loved. He'd even successfully began to annoy his friends with how much he liked her. Of course, that came to an abrupt end, all thanks to Jay. Yet, here he was trying to help the son of a bitch. But this was like his new obsession as strange as it seemed. Not the spying. He wasn't suddenly obsessed with spying (he'd got over that fad years ago) and it certainly wasn't a fascination with Donovan. In all honesty, he didn't really know where the obsession had stemmed from, it could be Jay, he guessed. All he wanted to do was help Jay. Although, once he'd helped him, then what? That's assuming he even needed help in the first place. There was something constantly drawing him to discovering what was happening between him and Donovan. Something that he couldn't put his finger on. Maybe it was some strange form of jealousy; that Jay had a new friend and that meant he was slightly drifting from the group and Simon missed him. Obviously, it had happened before with Jay's football friend; Simon had been that jealous that he'd effectively created his own mocking catchphrase. Maybe it was something deeper than jealousy and missing him and friendship... but, wait, what was he thinking? If it was something more than friendship that would mean a crush and Simon wasn't gay. He didn't think. Nah, he just cared deeply for his friend in a purely platonic way and that's the way it was sticking. He hoped.

Whatever Simon was thinking about came to quite a halt when he spotted sight of Donovan. He gestured for Will and Neil to see for themselves, which they begrudgingly did so. It wasn't that the latter two didn't care as much, it was more that it was cold and raining and they didn't really want to walk the mile into town, plus whatever was going on between Jay and Donovan was obviously private otherwise Jay would never shut up about it. Either way, the two stood next to Simon and peered around the caravan. The same sequential events as last night followed, they all ended up near the high rise buildings in the rough end of town and the three sat on the gratified benches across the way and just observed. Although, in Neil and Will's case, "observed" meant keep yourself busy with other activities. It sort of surprised Simon that Neil didn't really seem bothered by all this, but then it could be that Neil was bothered, he just had his own unique way of showing it.

Meanwhile, even more surprising stuff was going off in Donovan's flat. The routine that Jay had become completely accustomed to had changed somewhat. Rather than asking for a blow job or a hand job, he simply requested to talk to Jay. You see, Mark, after last night, had decided that this whole blackmail thing was becoming slightly too tedious. What he wanted, what he really wanted was an actual relationship with Jay. He didn't like admitting it, but after last night it was confirmed that he wanted a relationship similar to what he'd had with Charlotte a couple of years ago now. The problem was, he just wasn't exactly sure how to break that to Jay. He'd convinced himself that the moment he told Cartwright, the boy would either laugh or run without the threat of blackmail,

"This about last night?" Jay asked, sounding rather worried that he'd done something wrong yesterday that he just couldn't remember. Maybe he'd really offended Donovan or admitted his true feelings for Simon, which would no doubt utterly piss Donovan off. He swallowed hoping he wasn't going to get beat up again at this rate,

"A bit, depends on what you remember." He shrugged, which only further worried Jay that he'd done something he would more than regret. However, Jay assumed that, in this case, honesty would definitely be the best policy since if he couldn't remember what he'd done wrong, he couldn't really be reprimanded for it. Could he?

"I, err, don't remember anything." Jay confessed, the same hint of worry in his tone. The other boy wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. If Jay had remembered everything from last night, it might have made this conversation slightly easier, or at least less surprising. On the other hand, it would make this sound even more like a joke,

"I like you Jay." Mark muttered, not wanting to waste anymore time but suddenly his fears came to fruition when Jay started laughing,

"Seriously, Mark." He didn't know whether Donovan had been on drugs or drinking or something but this was entirely out of character. Even down to the fact that Donovan had called him "Jay", that was a rarity. It was normally "Cartwright". This slightly angered Mark, that Cartwright wasn't taking this seriously, he wondered if he could convince him some other way. A way he was used to,

"Sit down and shut the fuck up, I need to explain something to you." Jay flinched slightly when the soft tone Donovan had been using suddenly changed to quite a violent sounding tone meaning things seemed to have suddenly returned to normal. He did as he was told and sat on Donovan's sofa, waiting for whatever was coming to him. He really shouldn't have laughed.

Neil groaned as his Nintendo DS that he had brought along as it switched itself off from low battery power. Now what was he going to do, whilst Simon worried about Jay? He put the console next to Will and went over to Simon, maybe it was a sort of comfort thing to help Simon but then again, maybe it was because he was bored out of his mind. Will was still on the other bench, utterly engrossed in his book and didn't bat an eye when Neil switched seats,

"You know what Jay's like, Si." Neil began, "He won't tell us if something's up unless it gets really bad." He muttered. Whilst Simon had known Jay for longer than Neil had, the latter seemed to know what Jay was like more. It surprised Simon but Neil could actually be quite intuitive at times despite his seeming lack of intelligence,

"Yeah, I know Neil, but I'm still worried about him." Simon sighed. For all he knew, he was fretting over nothing. Jay and Donovan could simply be friends and that was that. It wouldn't be the first time Jay had had a secret friend,

"I know mate." Neil remarked and wondered if there was any way to cheer Simon up a bit, "You could phone him." He shrugged,

"What?" Simon questioned to make sure he'd heard right. It was the simplest idea but for some reason, he and Will had completely overlooked it,

"Phone him." He repeated and Simon took his phone out of his pocket,

"I knew bringing you along was a great idea, Neil!" He excitedly announced as Will looked up from his book, slightly impressed. It was impossible to read whilst those two were moronically going on,

"Actually, Neil, that's pretty clever. You'll be able to tell from Jay's voice if he's in some serious trouble or if he's, in fact, perfectly fine." He commented as Simon searched for Jay's contact in his phone.

In the interim, Jay was still up at Donovan's, obviously, but what hadn't been obvious to him was what Mark had been discussing for the past 10 minutes or so. Effectively, it was that Mark liked Jay. Despite how he'd been treating him the past few weeks, Mark actually liked him. He was a little unsure of what to make of it. On the one hand, it meant someone actually liked him and Mark wasn't exactly the worst looking guy in the world. On the other hand, if Jay and Mark wanted to give the relationship a go, how could they? It would mean both would have to come out otherwise they'd have to be a secret couple, which would definitely be more trouble than it was worth. And, what was going to be the worse problem of all was that Jay still loved Simon at the end of the day. It would almost be like a betrayal. Confessing that to Donovan, however, was going to be nefariously difficult. Mark had disappeared to the bathroom for a moment and Jay wondered if he should just run. Short-term that would be the perfect solution. Long-term, though, would cause a whole world of new problems and not just for Jay himself, but for his friends too. He sighed, which was in par with his phone vibrating. Normally, he'd put it on silent but he hadn't had chance what with Mark talking to him since he arrived. "Simon" was displayed on the phone and without second thought, he answered,

"All right, bender?" He asked and then grimaced; he really should stop using terms like that especially if he indeed chose to go out with Donovan,

"Yeah." Simon muttered, wanting to get straight to the point, "Listen, we're, erm, in town at the minute and-" He was going to go on and invite Jay out, rather than going straight in with the 'We followed you to Donovan's what are you doing there?' comment,

"Whereabouts in town, are ya?" Jay questioned, losing the self-confidence in his voice, interrupting Simon. If his friends were nearby, he could quickly escape and tell them everything that had happened and they might understand and it would be easier than telling Donovan that he wasn't interested,

"Near those high rise buildings." Simon admitted. Jay wondered if this was a particularly lucky day for him as he got up and went over to Mark's window to see if Simon was visible. He smiled when he could see Simon across the road on the phone to him. Simon didn't seem to be looking at him, however.

Donovan left the bathroom, which lead straight into his bedroom in an ensuite style fashion, except it was the main and only bathroom in the flat. From his room, he could quite clearly hear Jay's voice on the phone. He didn't want to interrupt the call so lingered in the bedroom,

"How long you gonna be out for, Si?" As well as wanting to get away from Donovan and his flat to the safety of his friends, Jay also wanted to spend a bit of time with them; it sort of felt like he'd been neglecting them. And by "them" he meant, in particular, Simon.

Donovan rolled his eyes when he heard the nickname "Si" as he identified who Jay was talking to. Suddenly, any obligation he'd felt to let Jay continue with his conversation had dissipated and he left the bedroom. Jay jumped upon realising that Mark had re-entered the room and swiftly closed the curtain that he'd opened to look at Simon, "Look, I'll meet you later on, 'bout 9ish?" He suggested and looked at Mark to see if 9ish was indeed a good time. He nodded and Simon confirmed on the phone that he'd still be around, "Bye then." He hung up and turned back around to face Mark, but he'd moved. Now he was over by the window where Jay had been and laughed when he saw Simon,

"Did _you _phone him?" Donovan asked to Jay, trying his best to sound cool, despite the fact that he was feeling anything but cool. Telling Jay how he felt had been a complete mistake from the offset; he was never going to stop fancying that dick Cooper no matter what sort of relationship him and Jay were in. It was utterly futile. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Jay, who could obviously tell that talking to Simon had been a mistake. For Jay's part, he didn't know what to answer. If he told Donovan the truth, then what would he do to Simon and if he told Donovan a lie, then what would he do to Jay? It was a conundrum if ever there was one. Realisation struck, however, in that he couldn't think of a reason he'd phoned Simon since he was occupied with Donovan, whereas, there were a multitude of reasons that Simon might have phoned in. Plus lying for Simon's sake might just get Simon in trouble again like in the common room a few days previous. He swallowed,

"No, no, he, err, phoned me, just asking if I wanted to meet him." He confirmed for the other boy who nodded in response. Donovan turned around, staring through the window again. Staring at Cooper was providing him with the more angry and frustrated temperament that he wanted to present, which was completely opposed to staring at Cartwright, who was simply invoking feelings of sadness. But maybe the latter was actually the better option. Regardless of his pent up anger, he didn't want to hurt Jay. He'd really rather hurt Simon for taking Jay away from him. He shut the curtains and sighed,

"I fucking liked you, Cartwright." He whispered, avoiding any eye-contact with Jay at all. The other boy didn't really know what to say, quite frankly. Today was the first time he'd seen this more romanticised version of Donovan, although, he'd heard from Will that he was like this around Charlotte, "Just, just forget what I told you earlier, forget it all. I'll settle for our lovely blackmail relationship we've got." Donovan concluded and Jay felt a sudden pang of guilt that he didn't like Mark back. It only lasted a second, though, as Donovan headed over towards him, "Bedroom, blow-job." He simply instructed and gave Jay a slight push towards the bedroom. Before entering himself, he deeply inhaled that it would never be more than this. Although, with some "persuasion", he was sure that he could get Jay to have sex with him. Soon, if he found the right sort of "persuasion".

Jay paused when he entered the bedroom upon realising that they were stuck in this rut and he'd definitely missed any chance he had of Donovan being nice to him. And he'd definitely missed any chance of getting out of this fucking sordid affair they had.

Within 10 minutes, they'd done and Jay was trying to remove the taste of Mark's ejaculate out of his mouth in the bathroom. Donovan didn't mind, he'd already got what he wanted, well, sort of, anyway. For all he cared, Jay could fuck off; he'd served his purpose for today at all rates, "Hurry the fuck up and leave, I've got stuff to do!" He yelled through the bathroom door to Jay, who, without further warning, quickened his actions and then vacated the bathroom, "I'm sure it doesn't taste that bad." Mark jibed as he had been waiting outside the bathroom door for Jay to leave. He lightly tapped his face, in a rather patronising way, "Leave." He muttered and Jay just nodded; he was trying his best to not further aggravate Donovan so had said very little all night, not that he said much anyway when they were together, "Same time tomorrow, Cartwright." He heard Donovan call as he left the flat and sighed when he was sure the door was closed.

Outside the building, he spotted that Simon, Will and Neil were still in the same place as they'd been previously. The same place that had got him into trouble. At first, he was apprehensive about letting the other guys see him leaving the building but then he realised that he could bullshit his way through it, just like he usually would. His friends noticed Jay crossing the road and Simon had a particular grin on his face when he saw that Jay seemed to be relatively in tact. He tried not to smile, but he was glad Jay was okay at the end of the day,

"You twats really need a better place to hang out." Jay sarcastically muttered as he sat down on one of the benches next to Neil,

"What were you doing in there, mate?" Neil quite blatantly asked and Simon rolled his eyes. What was the point in trying to be subtle when your retarded friend was as subtle as a gun? Jay didn't reply for second. It wasn't because he didn't know what to say (he'd already created his story before crossing the street, just to be prepared), it was actually because he'd picked up on Simon's weird reaction to Neil's question. In truth, his own suspicion now seemed to match Simon's as he wondered if they'd followed him and what they knew. But he realised he hadn't answered for about 30 seconds and obviously that looked the most suspicious,

"Oh, I was up at Donovan's place..." Jay began, thinking there was hopefully nothing to fuel Simon's apparent intuitions in the first part, "...and we had a few birds up there, you know, like a proper party." He explained, attempting an excited tone as he usually would when he was telling a blatant lie,

"Oh really?" Will looked up from his book, knowing that Jay wasn't being honest. After a couple of years of being friends with Jay, it was extremely easy to tell when he was lying, as he did it most of the time. Well, Will thought so anyway, Neil seemed to be led on by the lie and even Simon was actually contemplating it's accuracy. Looking up, he shut his book and realised that if he pretended to believe Jay, they could all go home and everyone would be satisfied, "Sounds feasible." He nodded without a hint of sarcasm in his voice,

"Err, thanks." Jay shrugged and wondered why, of all people, Will would believe his lie but whatever, if it was working he wasn't complaining.

The group headed back into their lovely suburbia with many unanswered questions. Not that anyone was going to point out that elephant in the room. Particularly not Neil, who didn't anticipate that anything was happening in general and was currently meandering back with a grin on his face; Jay had confirmed that he was indeed fine and that was enough for Neil. Will, however, could tell something was going on and not because Donovan had told him so, albeit using the generic term, "bullying", but it was Jay's problem and Jay clearly didn't want help. Simon, on the other hand, was genuinely not convinced either way. He wanted to believe that Jay's fake party with birds was true but he couldn't; he was utterly confident that something bigger was happening that just fucking a few girls in some shitty council flat. Then again, maybe his imagination was running away from him.


	8. Chapter 8

**__A/N Nothing speaks Valentine's Day more than this chapter and of course, I'm being sarcastic. Still, Happy Valentine's Day!**

_Chapter 8_

The next day was a rather average day for the four boys. In a way, it was almost like everything was back to normal, if you could call their lives "normal". Or that's what it would appear on the surface anyway. A closer look, may in fact confirm, that Simon was still as paranoid and obsessive as ever about the last few week's proceedings despite what Jay told him. It could also confirm, that Jay was, truthfully, as miserable as ever pertaining for obvious reasons. On the bright side, Neil and Will were effectively normal. You could argue that Neil was a little concerned for Jay, but maybe, for a change, Neil was the one being smart about all this. If Jay wanted to tell them he would tell them. Quite surprisingly, Will had a similar philosophy on the matter. It was very much the rarity when Will and Neil shared the same ideas, almost like lightning striking the same place twice.

Currently, each boy was left to their own devices. Neil had a PE lesson, Will was revising for a mock exam (which the other boy's found hilarious; who revises for a mock exam?) whilst Simon & Jay were in the same sociology class together. Not that they were sat anywhere near each other; they'd might as well be in two separate classes. Then again, Jay would consider this a good thing, for the moment anyway; he was almost positive Simon knew something or at the very least was suspicious of him. The last thing Jay wanted was to answer more questions about last night, he couldn't remember the excuse he'd used as it were. Simon, however, considered their unfortunate seating plan a complete disadvantage as he wanted to converse with Jay and observe whether he seemed his self. This really was getting quite obsessive, even for Simon,

"...make sure you complete the essay for Monday!" The teacher of the sociology class announced, just as the bell rang. Students flocked out of the classroom as quickly as possible, almost as if they were scared the teacher would give them several more essays if they hung around much longer. Si, who sat nearest to the door, waited a moment for Jay to head over there.

Once they were free of the class, the boy's automatically headed to their lockers. School bags were heavy without having to carry their 300 page sociology exercise books around also,

"Why did I ever choose sociology?" Simon moaned, dropping the hefty book into his locker, Jay smiled as Carli walked passed,

"Believe Carli's snatch was the reason, mate." He retorted, ensuring she was out of earshot when he said that. All he needed was to get on the bad side of Carli and have her massive boyfriend on his back too, so to speak,

"Yeah..." Simon muttered, sounding distracted. Maybe it was because he didn't even glance at Carli as she meandered past them or maybe it was because he seemed to have stopped talking to her, but Jay definitely noticed a lack of any Carli stalking behaviour. Perhaps, it was Jay's turn to interrogate Simon rather than the other way around as it had been on multiple occasions now. Plus, it had the added benefit of stopping Simon before he asked Jay any more questions,

"Finally getting over that cock-tease, Carli then?" Simon suddenly looked at Jay, partially because he'd mentioned Carli and insulted her for that matter yet mainly because he hadn't really thought about the love of his life for the past few days. Maybe even the past few weeks; his attentions had been purely focussed on Jay, which was a disturbing thought. All the time he used to spend thinking about Carli was now spent thinking about his best friend. Not in similar scenarios, thank fuck. Well, he'd never imagine Jay wearing nothing but a thong performing some brilliant sexual acts on him. Scratch that, he'd never imagine Jay in a thong. But that was a whole other issue that he was willing to settle a different day. Right now, he needed to solve Jay's problem (assuming he had one) before he even began to set him up with whole new ones. The other boy cleared his throat, waiting for an answer when Simon realised he hadn't spoke for quite an awkward amount of time,

"Sorry, err, you could say that, if you wanted. I've just had other things on my mind." He admitted then silently added, "Like you." But he couldn't say that out loud, Jay would just laugh at him or worse, "You seemed quieter than normal in sociology anyway, something to do with those girls last night?" Simon questioned, simultaneously changing the subject and focussing the conversation entirely on the subject he wanted to talk about. Realisation struck Jay as he suddenly recalled what bullshit he'd come up with to get out of last night's events, it was a fake party with girls,

"Just knackered, mate, they rode like porn stars." Jay exclaimed, somewhat loudly. His announcement caught the attention of several students still in the corridor where they had been stood talking. And to Jay's misfortune caught the attention of Donovan, who was out of sight in the classroom next door. This was going to prove interesting. The last time he'd heard Jay and Simon's conversation, he'd got to nearly throttle Cooper. That was good and this time he had plenty of pent up rage and all of it was directed at Cooper. This was certainly his lucky day,

"Hmmm, sure they did." Simon rolled his eyes, assuming he would never get the truth about what happened last night or the previous nights,

"Anyway, fuck that, what I want to know is what you were doing up there? And you'd not even got your car so you'd walked a mile into town to sit there and you could've done that at home." Jay pointed out; this had been playing on his mind all night. For once in his life, he'd done a little bit of intelligent thinking and come up with some reasonable arguments. From inside the classroom, Mark smiled and wondered if Cooper knew something. That could definitely be used to his advantage,

"You know what, forget it! I was trying to help you, but fuck it." That's not what Simon wanted to say, but it's what came out. In truth, he wanted to carry on talking about this, get Jay talking some more but he didn't have a particularly valid comeback and this was much easier. Of course, if he knew that Donovan was listening in on their conversation and realised that Cooper's lack of argument probably meant he was indeed spying on Jay, then he may have created some kind of feasible dispute back.

Storming away from the lockers, Simon heard Jay sigh, but he didn't seem to follow him. That probably wasn't a good sign. The two friends went their different ways and trying to help out one another was to blame entirely. Clearly there was little truth to the saying, "what you don't know can't hurt you." Neither boy looked back, which gave Mark the perfect chance to escape the classroom without being seen and therefore without anyone figuring out what he knew. The only problem now was that he felt compelled to follow Cooper, in case he mentioned anymore about this and, let's face it, Cartwright wasn't going to have anything insightful to add.

Simon reached the common room, quite unaware of the bully who was effectually stalking him. Will was sat at one end of the common room, alone and surprisingly without a book this time and, instinctively that's where Simon headed. He slumped down into a chair by Will and sighed, expecting Will to ask him what was up. When he didn't, Simon sighed with much more emphasis yet Will turned away from him,

"Something wrong?" Si questioned to his friend who turned swiftly back,

"Yes, actually, there is." Will began, "You haven't asked me about how my exam went."

"Bollocks, it wasn't even a real exam, it was a mock!" Simon complained, rolling his eyes but Will obviously didn't see it that way. He turned back around, not facing his friend and folded his arms, hoping to make a point,

"Fine, how did your exam go?" He gave in, meaning Will dismissed all his previous actions by completing the opposite,

"It was good, thank you." Will smiled, "Now, what's up with you?" He'd heard Simon's sighs as soon as he sat down. Then again, it wasn't unusual for him to be sighing; there was always something (usually Carli) to sigh about,

"I tried talking to Jay earlier."

"What? You didn't mentioned we followed him, did you?" Will asked, sounding shocked despite the fact that he was used to his friend doing ridiculous things like this. He recalled trying to bunk off one time and Simon calling the school, pretending to be his mum. That was a fucking disaster,

"Nah, but he seemed a little suspicious about it." Simon shrugged, it wasn't exactly like they'd tried to cover up their mysterious trip to town. In fact, they hadn't even thought of a viable excuse; Will, Simon and Neil had all assumed that Jay wouldn't work it out,

"Honestly, I think you're getting too obsessive with this Jay/Donovan thing." Will admitted to his friend who apparently did not think the same way. If anything, he thought he wasn't obsessive enough, that he couldn't see what was happening. On some level he knew that he had an obsessive personality and this was indeed the sort of situation where it shone through, "Are you jealous of Donovan because he's taken away your fwend?" He made fun of Simon, which was rather out of character for Will, but with none of the usual candidates around, he felt a need to fill the void,

"Fuck off. He's not been himself lately and you know it." Simon muttered, quite offended and wishing that Will would take all this more seriously, but maybe he was right; maybe Simon was over-thinking this too much,

"If you're going to stalk him again, I'm not going with you. I have better things to do than watch Jay all day." He complained and wondered if he did indeed have something else he could be doing if he wasn't out with Simon and co. No doubt there was an upcoming exam he could revise for or a piece of homework that needed completing. Yes, Will had quite the productive life when he was away from his friends,

"Fine! Fucking fine! I'll go alone then!" Simon raised his voice slightly, not that anyone would care what he had to say, with the exception of Donovan who was out of sight in the common room, still listening in on Simon's conversation. This was all proving very interesting. He was pretty sure this Cooper thing could be used for leverage, possibly to get Jay to do certain things with him that he hadn't tried yet i.e. full frontal sex. And it would definitely be nice to cause injury to the person that effectively stopped him from being with Jay. But they were moot points unless Mark could catch Cooper in his stalking act. Not that he considered that a challenge; Simon wasn't the subtlest of sorts.

It was approximately 5pm when Mark reached Jay's that night. Not that Mark had been aiming for a specific time, he just wanted to make sure it was around his approximate time. There was no sign of Cooper yet. Well, unless he was hiding, which Donovan admitted was a possibility. But if he was there, he'd be found. One way or another.

Jay came to the door, knowing nothing about the plot to catch Simon. He just assumed it was another quick blowie at Mark's and then he'd be back home like nothing happened. No-one would know he was gone. Then again, no-one noticed anyway. Grabbing his coat, he muttered a "Bye." to his mum and acknowledged Mark, in his usual manner: a minimal amount of eye-contact and hardly any words. However, something seemed slightly off tonight, like his peer was distracted by something else. He was definitely looking around the surroundings a lot as they reached the end of Jay's driveway and stopped for a few moments. Rarely did Jay talk to Donovan without cause but if ever there was much cause, it was now,

"Are you okay, Mark?" He questioned and Donovan just appeared to grunt in response. The only place Cooper could be hiding was behind the caravan but, deciding that getting Simon to follow them was easier than practically dragging the "spy" to his flat, Mark stopped himself just short of being around the caravan,

"Nothing, let's go." Donovan mutterer back to Jay and started walking with Jay following by his side.

Simon was definitely more dubious tonight about following them. Maybe it was because he was alone and heading to the rough part of town was really not a smart move or maybe it was because Donovan had lingered around slightly like he was trying to sniff out prey before him and Jay set off. Whatever it was had more than made Simon uneasy. Despite it, he still relentlessly followed. All the way to Donovan's high rise flat at which point, the bully stopped a few feet short of the entrance. Simon hid behind a tree, that, of all things, had been vandalised through graffiti and other chav-like hobbies,

"Seriously, are you okay?" Jay asked again to Donovan, with a hint of genuine concern in his tone. However, the concern had only been placed because Jay thought that his companion was acting strangely due to something Jay had done and would probably suffer for. There was no concern for Mark's well-being at all,

"Yeah..." Donovan muttered, somewhat distracted, "Can I borrow your phone? I want to make a quick phone call." He explicated and Jay shrugged, handing Donovan his phone. He had some reservations about letting Mark use the mobile, but he had more reservations about not letting him use it, "Here, go let yourself in." He handed Jay the keys to his flat meaning the teenager quickly disappeared into the building and slowly out of view, leaving Donovan within full reign of his phone, which panicked Jay slightly. But again, still not as much as refusing Donovan did. He quickly reached the flat and opened the door.

Mark, meanwhile, was flicking through the contacts in Jay's phone. He was highly convinced that most of the girl's numbers in here were fake and part of some ploy to impress his friends but that was irrelevant since Donovan wasn't looking for a girls number. He reached the "S" contacts and spotted the name he wanted, swiftly pressing the call button. In the distance, he could distinctly hear a phone ringing, which didn't bode well for Cooper. Simon scrambled to his pocket, cursing himself for not putting his phone on silent, he noticed Jay was calling and quickly answered, worried that his friend was in some kind of trouble,

"You all right, Jay?" He inquired, somewhat frantically and waited for a response,

"Look, I know you've been following us Cooper at some effort to "help" Cartwright..." Donovan stated, sounding highly malicious, "...so I thought I'd give you two options. One, you can come over here and I won't beat the shit out of your friend or two, you can stay there and just hope for the best." He finalised and quickly hung the phone up. Obviously, he had no intention of beating Jay up despite what he just threatened, but he was pretty convinced that Simon would be easily swayed to follow if he thought that Jay was in trouble, meaning that Donovan would not have to go through with his threat.

It was a pretty ingenious plan, even if only Donovan himself thought so. Catch Cooper spying on them and lure him up to the flat and once he was up there, he had two options depending on what seemed the best course of action at the time. The first was that he could quickly get Jay to confess to everything, which he assumed would be quite humiliating for him therefore, Donovan would gain revenge for the way Jay had shot him down yesterday. However, that lacked a way of gaining revenge on Cooper too, which is where option two became quite pliable. In truth, this was the plan that Mark wanted to go through with on so many levels and it would tick so many boxes for him. On the other hand, there were so many reasons he didn't want to carry it out. The idea, basically, was that he would blackmail Cartwright (further) into having sex with him (something that Mark had definitely wanted since the couples drunken conversation about it a few nights back) by threatening to beat up Simon. It was a classic win-win scenario for him. If Jay refused, then he'd get to beat up Cooper, which is something he was quite desperate to do considering he was the reason he couldn't be with Jay. If, however, Jay accepted, then Donovan would finally get to fuck Jay, another thing that he was quite desperate to do and the fact that Jay wouldn't be entirely consensual didn't really seem a problem. On the contrary, it was somewhat a turn-on for Mark. Of course, both ways came with the added advantage of Simon having to find out about Jay's hidden secrets. That sort of mean the first option of getting Cartwright to confess everything to Cooper could be incorporated in option two. Mark smiled as Simon walked up to him. Things were going to plan.

Back up at the flat, Jay had sat himself on the sofa and was basically waiting for Donovan, who seemed to arrive right on cue. The flat door was ajar simply through Jay's own laziness that he didn't want to have to get up again to open the door when Mark finally arrived. Typical teenagers. He plastered on a faux smile in some attempt to cheer Donovan up since he didn't really seem himself, however, that was all but wiped away when the door open and Simon was pushed into the flat. Instead a combination of guilt, worry and shame painted his face as the two boys stared at each other. Donovan meandered in, feeling quite pleased with himself, revenge imminent and very much the focus of his mind,

"Guess who I found following us?" He questioned specifically to Jay who was still wearing his admonished expression. Donovan waited briefly to see if Jay would answer but he didn't so instead, he locked the door and grabbed the key from Jay, effectively trapping them there, "So do you want to tell him or should I?" He asked Jay, who was speechless from the offset and it wasn't getting much easier to talk.

Simon wasn't registering what exactly was going on but as soon as Donovan had locked the front door, he sensed this was a completely bad idea. All he could do was stare at Jay, in some form of apology,

"T-tell him what?" Jay finally replied to Donovan, playing dumb. He knew exactly what the bully wanted him to tell Simon: everything about their relationship, about him being attracted to men, probably even about the wanking in the common room, which he'd forgotten about until that moment. In some ways, it was easier if Donovan told Simon everything, but that was coupled with being more embarrassing since he had no idea what Mark would actually say. On the other hand, telling Simon himself was more difficult, but he could tell it like it was; there was absolutely no guarantee that Donovan would do that,

"Well, if you're not going to tell hi-" Mark began but Jay quickly interrupted him, making the split second decision to spill all himself, which, knowing Jay's luck would probably be the worst decision he could've made. But it was done now,

"I'm, erm..." He swallowed, realising that words were failing him and his mouth had gone completely dry, "I like..." He just couldn't get the right phrasing, everything sounded okay in his head and then when he came to announce it, it just wasn't working. He purposely avoided eye-contact with Mark but staring at Simon was making it easier to speak. Sort of like Simon was his muse or some poetic shit like that. Simon was his friend and he'd accept him, it should be easy to tell his friend, his oldest friend, his _best _friend,

"For fuck sake, he's a b-bender!" Donovan announced, almost slurring his words and stepping between Simon and Jay's eye line. Both Simon and Jay picked up on the slurred speech and he was slightly wavering, he'd obviously been drinking or on drugs or a combination of the two, which probably made this situation a lot worse than it should be,

"You're a bender too." Jay quickly snapped back, not trying to cause an argument but wanting to cover up the elephant in the room. As soon as he'd announced it, however, he knew that was obtuse comment to make especially when Mark moved towards Jay,

"Only for you, Cartwright." He vindictively muttered and fleetly pulled Jay into a kiss, which the smaller boy was clearly uncomfortable doing in front of Simon, but he was practically trapped since Donovan had one hand behind his head, pushing him in for a deeper kiss. One good thing had come of the forced osculation in that it confirmed for Jay that Mark was indeed intoxicated; he could smell alcohol on him and some kind of drug that he didn't recognise.

After struggling, Jay finally pushed free of the kiss and was now avoiding looking at Simon completely. The person who wasn't having much trouble looking at either boy was Mark, who had now headed over to Simon,

"Every night he comes up here and we do things together, good things but you just fucking ruined everything. It was gonna be fucking amazing." He sneered at Simon, who didn't really know what he'd done wrong at all, but was too scared to protest Mark's words since he'd practically been backed into a wall, "Cunt." He finalised, sounding increasingly angry, either the drugs in his system were talking a turn for the worse or Simon had instilled these feelings in him. The rage had pent up and he suddenly threw a punch towards Cooper and successfully hit him in the jaw. Simon yelped slightly, not expecting it and moved his hands to cover his face in some futile defence effort. Although, he needn't had bothered since that one punch had released enough of Mark's bout of anger, "Tell him!" Donovan turned to Jay, "Tell him how you feel!" He instructed and headed back towards Jay, grabbing his arm. He pulled and pushed him towards Simon, until the two were next to each other, "Tell him before you both regret it." He threatened and Jay swallowed again, leaning away from Simon, determined not to make any eye-contact with him, until he'd said what he needed to say for their own good,

"I sort of, erm, like-like you, more than a friend maybe, sort of like you, kind of love-like you..." He stammered, finding this much harder to do than he thought, "Fucking hell." He stated under his breath, trying to clear his head, "I love you, Si." He muttered and closed his eyes, expecting rejection of some form or another. But it didn't come. Simon was quiet and Jay opened his eyes and turned to face Simon, who, in fact, didn't look any sort of scared or disgusted or offended or anything that Jay had been worried about. Instead, Simon's hand found Jay's and the two entwined. That was enough for Jay, it wasn't rejection but it definitely symbolised some kind of acceptance. They smiled at each other, almost forgetting about Donovan in the room. Had the two been alone, a kiss might have followed but Mark pulled Jay away from Simon,

"See what I mean, you ruined what I could've had." He yelled at Simon.


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

Simon was still cornered whilst Donovan had a hold of Jay, meaning both boys were trapped in one way or another. It didn't matter what Mark was planning, the two knew they had to get out of here and soon before something drastic happened, although, it was proving difficult to be scared or worried. Jay was still reeling off the high that Simon appeared to like him back after all these years and Simon was trying to work out how Jay, of all people could be gay. And he was trying to concentrate rather than repeating the idea that someone actually liked him and it wasn't just anyone – it was Jay, which was leading to wonderings of him liking Jay back.

Donovan made a sudden movement and Simon decided this was definitely something that should be talked through or thought about later, no matter how excited or confused he was. He snapped out of it and saw that Mark had grabbed Jay's collar, not entirely aggressively but definitely not unassertive,

"We're gonna fuck, Cartwright." He maliciously stated, "Me and you, in there..." Donovan mad a gesture towards the bedroom. Had this been a film or TV show that Simon was watching, he'd yell at the screen for Jay to stick up for himself, to fight back but then realised that he was here too, part of the ensemble; he should be helping Jay,

"What?" His friend questioned, hoping that Donovan was just having some twisted joke at his expense. As much as Jay went on about sex, he wasn't exactly ready to lose his virginity. Well, he was, just not with Donovan. Never with Donovan. Had this been Simon, he'd definitely be ready to pop his cherry,

"You heard." Donovan bluntly stated,

"I don't-" Jay began but was intermittently interrupted by the bully, who was seemingly relentless,

"You do and you will otherwise guess who's gonna get fucked up instead." It was a poor choice of words on Donovan's part, when he referred to Simon's potential beating. Luckily, it registered in Jay that was what Donovan meant.

Simon hadn't really seen it coming when Donovan turned around and caught him panicked texting. He'd been busy talking to Jay and Simon was trying to think of an escape route for them, at which point he'd wished he was slightly more intelligent which had set him on the thought path of Will. And he remembered; his phone was in his pocket. He could text for help whilst Donovan was distracted. By the time, he'd been caught, the text had been sent and in a smooth move by Simon, also deleted from the phone to ensure that Donovan couldn't work out who he'd text and with what. Then again, he hadn't seen it coming when Donovan caught him panicked texting. He sort of released Jay, pushing him to the ground in the process and snatched Simon's phone. The pounding in Simon's chest from nerves, hoping that he had correctly deleted the text was unbearable as Donovan flicked through his phone,

"Didn't give you enough credit, Cooper, smarter than you look." He stared at Simon, not returning his phone. The prolonged eye-contact started getting incredibly weird until it was indubitably broke when a swift backhand from Donovan, knocked Simon to the ground. He tried to scramble up, how he wished he'd managed it after a quick succession of kicks to the groin and lower stomach left him practically crying. There was no wonder Jay thought his rib was broken if Donovan had beaten him like this. Jay futilely protested Simon's quick beating, trying to think of anything to stop it because at this rate, Simon could end up seriously injured or worst of all dead. There was only one thing for it,

"I'll have sex with you!" Jay quickly announced and Donovan froze, with the exception of the smile that crept on his face; his manipulative plan had definitely worked out how he wanted it to. Mark swiftly moved away from Simon, who just cringed expecting another blow. He faced Jay instead, still wearing his evil smile. Since he knew that the situation may lead to this, Donovan had brushed up on his, otherwise shoddy, knowledge on homosexual sex. If anything he was too prepared. For the second time tonight, Jay was pulled into one of the most forceful kisses he'd ever experienced. But rather than looking his partner in the eyes with lust and hunger, he was far too busy looking at Simon who was still just laid on the floor, breathing quite heavily judging by the rate his chest was rising and collapsing,

"You d-don't have to do this, J-Jay." Simon weakly protested and both himself and Jay couldn't help but thinking that argument would've sounded much more convincing if Simon hadn't said it through laboured breaths. Donovan was still kissing Jay which was making replying tricky so he hoped that Simon could either read his mind or that his eyes were screaming what he wanted to say, _"I fucking love you, Si, I __**have**__ to do it." _Whether Simon was receiving Jay's attempted telepathic messages was entirely unclear. Not that Jay could think clearly right now by any means; Mark had slid a hand down the front of Jay's jeans. Suddenly, any kind of reasoning or clear thinking went out of the window. He definitely hadn't expected it. To be fair, today had been full of things Jay hadn't expected, like Simon being here with him and Mark, and Simon holding his hand, and Simon. Fucking hell, Simon. He had to stop thinking about him as it was only spurring his cock on, reinforcing Donovan. He needed to do the opposite and think of someone unattractive to him.

To add to the growing list of what Jay had not expected today, he had most certainly not expected to be thinking about Will as some form of "cold shower" technique to put his cock off (not that he thought Will was entirely bad looking, but he was irritating most of the time, from Jay's perspective anyway). He didn't expect his mental images of Will to work either, but they were doing. Just.

But on top of everything Jay didn't expect today, this one took the biscuit. He wouldn't have even considered it possible but obviously it was. Simon somehow, maybe on some adrenaline kick, managed to stand himself up albeit in a wobbly manner and throw a punch with strength that Jay didn't know he was capable of into Donovan's side. It had certainly caused Donovan a little bit of pain, as he broke the kiss and removed his hand from Jay's pants and sort of swayed to one side. On the other hand, it was obvious that it had caused the weakened Simon pain too. But the pain didn't mean that he couldn't serve as the perfect distraction, whilst Jay, who hadn't been brutally injured attempted his own punch at Donovan. This time the bully fell. He wasn't unconscious but it had wavered him slightly. If they had any chance of escaping before Donovan got back up again, they would have to move incredibly fast,

"Where's the key?" Jay questioned to Simon, who was leaning against a sideboard for support since he was still severely injured from the beating. Realising that Simon would be no use, Jay, for once in his life, had to be brave; he was suddenly on top of Donovan, reaching for his pockets for the key. He found it along with Simon's phone, which he was about to hand to Simon but Donovan regained strength like this was a video game and his health bar had just been filled. Grabbing Jay's wrists and thus, knocking the key and the phone out of his hands, Donovan managed to flip Jay onto the floor so that they were effectively in opposite positions. However, with a height and definite strength advantage, Mark was doing a much better job of keeping Jay immobile. Regardless of that, Jay was still futilely struggling against him in any attempt to break free and save himself and Si,

"Didn't know you had anything like that in you, Cartwright." He patronised to the boy trapped below him, not that Jay was listening, he was too busy trying to wriggle his way out of the current position. When that failed, he just stared at Simon who was trying to regain strength the same way that Donovan had but that seemed pretty ineffective, "Where were we?" He rhetorically asked as he pinned the other teenager's wrists down with just his left hand whilst his right went back into Jay's trousers,

"Just fuck off, Donovan!" Jay screamed in utter frustration that he couldn't break free and that Simon was having trouble with practically everything. Why couldn't things just go right in his life for once? Someone was always causing him problems and the worst candidate for it was actually Jay himself. There were examples of Jay fucking things up for himself but concentrating was proving difficult now as Donovan suddenly sped up the rate at which he was stroking Jay's dick. The latter boy tried to return his thoughts to thinking of Will again since it worked brilliantly earlier in slowing down his attraction.

Individual features of his friend were slowly forming an image in his mind. Will's ridiculous blazer that he insisted on wearing despite the fact that everyone else at school wore sweatshirts. On top of that, his fucking briefcase when everyone else had backpacks or an equivalent. Fuck, it was getting harder for Jay to control himself. His really unflattering glasses. His was of undermining Jay, who was running out of reasons why he disliked Will. His over the top, supposedly "intelligent" way of speaking...

Everything froze. Someone knocked,

"Simon? You okay? You're text was very esoteric!" See, Jay was absolutely accurate about Will's language, he used stupid terms that no-one understood except him. Wait, Will was at the door!

"Will! Hel-" Jay yelled, hoping that with all his friend's intelligence he'd figure out a way to unlock the door and then hopefully a way to get them out of here. He doubted it would work, but at least that way there'd be three people to take on Donovan and not just two. But he was interrupted when Donovan, without a free hand left, kissed Jay for the third time,

"Jay?" Another voice shouted, whom Simon and Jay instantly recognised to be Neil's. Realising that shouting anything back seemed stupid (because the two couldn't get in anyway and because Donovan would find a way to shut him up), Simon moved as quickly as possible, trying his best to ignore the pain and grabbed the key which had fell out of Jay's hands earlier. Unfortunately, he wasn't quite quick enough and Mark, instinctively released Jay's hands to trip Simon. Falling really hadn't done Simon any favours since he was already wounded and he fell with a groan leaving Will and Neil, on the other side of the door, wondering exactly what was happening. However, since Jay was now partially free, he swiftly wriggled from underneath the taller boy and tried to grab the key himself, without tripping over Simon. Mainly, it had seemed that Simon being here, being captured was entirely a lamentable happening, but right now, it seemed the best thing to happen after Si had text Will; there was no way Donovan could take on all four of them. Or so Jay hoped anyway. He was close to the door. He genuinely was; it was a maximum of 3 feet away from him. But he faltered when Donovan cleared his throat. If ever you could tell someone was smugly confident simply because they cleared their throat, then it was from Donovan. Of course, when he turned around, it was one of those stereotypical situations, the ones you only ever expect to see in movies. The choice between definite freedom and the person you loved; the choice, for Jay, between Simon and the door.

No-one ever gave Donovan credit, when in fact he was actually quite intelligent. The only difference between him and some typical nerd was that he knew how to use his intelligence quite to his advantage. Not that this was the smartest move he'd ever made. On the contrary, it was probably the worst. But he was still quite high from drugs he'd taken earlier, which definitely hadn't mixed well with the alcohol he'd consumed, before calling for Jay. That made this idea simultaneously the best and worst he'd had. He knew there was no way Jay would leave or let the two morons on the other side in, if he thought Simon was in trouble and since Simon was still on the floor in pain, Mark was certainly in an advantageous situation. Whilst Jay headed for the door, most likely thinking Cooper was behind him, Donovan had actually hoisted the injured Simon up and grabbed a knife that he had cleverly (or he thought so anyway) put in his pocket earlier just in case.

So now the situation presented itself; sudden escape (well, temporary escape anyway) or Simon's life. Without second thought, Jay dropped the key. There was absolutely no way that Jay was going to see Simon be in any further pain, let alone get killed,

"You know what Donovan, you fucking win, all right?" Jay snapped, normally he wouldn't lose his temper in front of someone that provided a threat but he couldn't help it; this situation had been and was still frustrating him so much, "Just let Simon go and we can do whatever the fuck you want." He bluntly stated, he was through with playing games, all he wanted now was it to all be over. Of course, it couldn't be over for him, since Donovan still had the goods to blackmail him with, sort of. But it could be over for Simon, if only Jay could convince their tormentor to let him out of the door or at least leave him alone to recover slightly. Donovan smiled an evil smile as he forcefully let go of Simon, who, still being weak, just fell to the ground. However, the knife was not dropped. Instead it was reinserted back into Donovan's pocket. He smiled as Jay begrudgingly walked over to him. He had won this time.

When Jay reached Donovan, he was finding it highly difficult to stop a smile from appearing on his face. Not because he was happy to be in the situation he was in, far from it in fact. And not because he'd saved Simon's life, although he was over the moon about that. The reason behind the smile was simple. Similar to Donovan, Jay quite often didn't get credit for the intelligence he possessed. Granted it wasn't book smarts or street smarts but everyone was intelligent in their own rights and apparently Jay had found his form of intelligence: he was great in a crisis.

Before Jay had reached Donovan, he'd made a swift move. So swift, in fact, that even if Donovan hadn't been on drugs, he wouldn't have noticed it. As he stepped towards him, the key to the door had been in his path. Lightly so that you couldn't really notice, Jay had cunningly kicked it under the door to Will and Neil, whom he prayed were still on the other side. And if they didn't appear, Jay had the idea of shouting them, telling them to come in. Only one thing remained in his way and that was the knife in his enemy's pocket. Once that was removed, everyone was at pretty much the same advantage in that no-one would have any weapons. If he knew Donovan's habits, which he seemed confident on, Jay could remove the knife when he was pulled in for yet another passionate kiss. However, if worse should come to worse and that situation didn't arise, they'd have to go a little further and wait until Donovan had removed his trousers completely, ready to fuck Jay.

The two faced each other. Not dead on exactly since Donovan was significantly taller than Jay but they were staring at each other. This time there was no playing games for Mark; he roughly grabbed the collar of the shorter boy's shirt with one hand and the other was back down his pants and before Jay knew it they were kissing again. Of course, this time, Jay wasn't playing games either; he moved one hand towards Donovan's groin and the other towards the pocket. The quick strokes of the noticeable tent in Mark's pants provided excellent distraction whilst he skilfully retrieved the knife and placed it in his own trouser pocket. Finally, things were starting to turn. All that was left to do was to yell for Neil and Will to let themselves in from the outside. To do that he attempted to break the kiss by pushing Donovan away. It worked for a brief second, but it was a second long enough as Jay turned around to face the door. However, his task to distract Mark had also distracted himself as he'd not heard it when Will and Neil had let themselves in and judging by their expressions had witnessed the entire scene unfold.

It wasn't that the two were homophobic (well, no more so than any other straight man anyway) that they were shocked about what they just observed. It was more that this was the most unlikely situation the two had ever witnessed. Mark Donovan, the hardest kid in the entire school, he was popular and pulled loads of women was gay. Jay Cartwright, their friend, who's conversation only ever involved clunge and tits, who spent most of his time talking about the straight (albeit obviously untrue) sex that he had, who was always the first to use quite homophobic slurs about the rest of the boys. And to top off this impossible situation, Simon was essentially unconscious on the floor with literally no explicable reason for him being there. What the fuck had the two walked into?

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><p><strong>AN So, I've wrote two endings, one where Jay ends up with Donovan and one where Jay ends up with Simon. Your choice, who should he end up with?**


	10. Chapter 10 Simon Ending

**A/N Okay, thanks to all my reviewers who voted on the Simon or Donovan thing. The votes were about equal with 3 to Simon and 2 to Donovan so I'm going to post the Simon ending as the "official" ending but I'll upload my Donovan ending as an "alternate" ending for those of you desperate to see Jay with him. This chapter is part of my Simon ending! Enjoy!**

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><p><em>Chapter 10<em>

"This is _not_ what it looks like!" Jay tried to convince the two boys who had been stood silently staring at them for the past 3 minutes or so. All he needed was one of them to speak, so that he could gage what their true reaction was to this but it didn't look like either had anything to input. Not right now anyway. Starting to feel uncomfortable about the prolonged eye-contact, Jay looked at Mark instead, who was really wavering now. The drugs and alcohol in his system had clearly reached some form of peak and Jay didn't want to feel concerned. There was no reason for him to feel concerned. After everything the last thing he should experience was concern for the person who'd caused all this. Yet Jay was overrun with concern. Maybe it was because the two had gotten close over the past couple of months this had been happening and Jay was suffering some messed up version of Stockholm Syndrome. But he was concerned whatever the reason. It wasn't half the concern he was feeling for Simon but still it was there, "You okay, Mark?" He asked, trying he best to sound like he didn't care to keep up appearances since Neil and Will were still there. Before they knew it, Donovan blinked a few times and suddenly collapsed next to Simon. Neil and Will just watched the situation like it was some sort of strange soap opera that starred people they knew and was far too interesting to turn away from no matter what they tried.

In some ways the picture had developed from being highly unlikely to impossible. Since they had literally no idea what had been happening, it appeared that the kiss Jay and Donovan had shared had somehow knocked Mark unconscious. Will knew it was illogical and was expecting Jay to inform them whilst Neil wondered how Jay had learnt such a cool trick, "Any chance of help or what, wankers?" Jay asked, almost reverting back to his normal self; when he realised that he was pretty good in a crisis, he definitely wasn't lying. The two didn't move, a little unsure of what they were expected to do, "He's been on drugs and booze..." Jay explicated gesturing to Donovan, who was completely out of it, "He got beat up by Donovan..." This time he pointed to Simon, who wasn't unconscious, but was in too much pain to register what exactly was happening anyway, "I'll fucking explain everything later, all right? Now, fucking help!" He remarked and that seemed enough for the two at the moment as Will shook his head and hurried over,

"Donovan needs to be in the recovery position." Will stated, somewhat blankly which received an equally blank reception from Jay, "It's basic first aid." He rolled his eyes and pushed Jay out of the way, who went over to Simon instead, "Neil, get Si some water." Will hoped that was a simple enough job for Neil, one that he couldn't fuck up. In truth, Will was only guessing at what was the best course of action, in Simon's case anyway as he had absolutely no idea whether something was broken or there was internal bleeding or anything. Whilst Jay and Neil looked after Simon, Will checked Mark's pulse rate, which seemed to slow quite dramatically, "It's no use, we'll have to call an ambulance." He sighed and Jay nodded, knowing that Will would no doubt know what the best course of action was and to follow it to the letter, "But I don't know how we're going to explain this. Do you even know what drugs he's been on?" Will asked Jay, who shrugged,

"He took them before..." He struggled for words to finish the sentence. Words that wouldn't dig him into a hole, "...I got here."

"See, me and Si were right, Jay wasn't doing drugs." Neil pointed out, quite smugly. Rarely did Neil get things right so he had to briefly bask in the moment, not that it was incredible; he never did quite understand what was fun about this "being right" and "being smart" was all about. At the end of the day it seemed really boring,

"Thanks for your ever so useful input as always, Neil." Will rolled his eyes at Neil's inarticulate way of saying _I told you so._ But this was really not the right time, "If you weren't with him, how do you know he's done drugs?" He turned back to Jay, whom he noticed was just staring at Simon with quite a distant look. In actual fact, he was was resisting the urge to hold Simon's hand again, which would probably look more weird to Will and Neil than kissing Donovan had done,

"Can you think of another explanation, doctor?" Jay sarcastically remarked wondering what other reasons a person might have, firstly, treated him and Simon in the manner and audacity that Mark had and secondly, why he might have collapsed without showing any genuine symptoms of pain. Will rolled his eyes and instructed Neil to call an ambulance. Now, they waited.

It might as well have been a normal day at school the day after everything that had occurred. Will, Neil and Jay were back at school where they seem to spend most of their misfortunate lives. Even Simon had been given the all clear at the hospital to return to school; nothing was broken, only bruised in other words, he was perfectly fine just in pain. But this accounted for even further normality. Of course, the four knew things were different. For starters, Donovan was still in hospital, which was not only causing Jay misplaced guilt but also had the rest of the Sixth Form wondering where he was. Another abnormality of today was that Jay, Will and Neil had barely spoke with each other since last night. He hadn't expected it to be perfect after what his friends had witnessed last night, but Jay certainly hadn't expected complete silence. Obviously, this left Simon entirely confused as he hardly recalled anything after Donovan held a knife to his throat; according to a doctor at the hospital, he had entered a state of shock.

As far as any other member of the school knew, everything was normal. It appeared normal. But appearances weren't everything. Whilst Jay was suffering a fit of guilt and Simon a state of confusion, Neil and Will had their own concerns going on. In other words, they were still trying to come to terms with what happened last night.

In Neil's head, which was working overtime as it rarely got to contemplate anything other than toast or tits, he wasn't replaying the situation. In fact, he wasn't even bothered about Jay's apparent homosexuality, not in the slightest, however, he was mad. Mad at the fact that Jay had been lying to him for years. Infrequently did Neil get angry at much, he was usually a placid character, almost mysterious in a way, but right now he was mad. For the past 10 years, Jay had told Neil practically everything, even things he wouldn't tell Simon, things that Neil had kept perfectly secret and yet he hadn't told him this. Obviously, he thought that Jay had a reason for not telling him, but as everyone else was barely speaking Neil was slightly concerned there was some form of two minute silence happening but for 10 minutes and not two. He'd broken a two minute silence before and received a detention for it; he wasn't trying it again.

Will's brain was always in overload; it _never _stopped. There was always an idea to be had or a problem to be solved but neither of those even graced his mind today, not in the slightest. The only image his brain was producing, however, was what he'd witnessed last night. Over and over and over again, like sport slow motion replays. The bespectacled boy had never considered himself homophobic. It just wasn't in his nature to prejudice a group like that but after last night, he couldn't help feeling a little disturbed. In his defence, it might simply be because it was an odd combination of people, especially when one of them is your close friend (it was almost like they'd had a secret identity all this time). It could easily be that he was suffering one of those "Don't flaunt it" attitudes in which he didn't mind people being gay but just didn't want to see them at it. After a little bit of time, he assumed the scene would stop replaying and he could just accept Jay and move on, particularly since he'd bet good money on the fact that Neil's dad was bent and he got along with him just fine. Then again, he didn't spend almost everyday with Neil's dad. Okay, so maybe Will was a little homophobic, he could deal with it, he was sure. All he needed was a little bit of time. Not that this silence was helping any, he needed a distraction from the scene playing in his head.

The bell rang and relief seem to wash over all four of the boys. They always had something to talk about and even when they didn't, Jay would usually make up a story to give them a good laugh. Things were different. But that was something to worry about later in Jay's eyes. As soon as school was over, he needed to sort things with Donovan, he'd visit him in hospital later. Next on the agenda would be to find out what, if anything, Simon was feeling. Then and only then, would he confront Will and Neil about all this. Hopefully with Simon's help.

Jay never did like hospital. Then again, neither did anyone else to his knowledge. No matter how you dressed it up, at the end of the day, hospitals were for the sick and the dying and the occasional hypochondriac. None, of which, you'd spend time with outside of a hospital. They were fucking depressing and that was that. The plain white tiles of the floor and the walls did provide Jay with optimism nor confidence he needed to face Donovan. But here he was, alone, ready to talk to him; sort everything out once and for all if he could. The nurse had kindly provided Jay with the wing that Mark was on, information which was usually reserved for family members but she had recognised Jay from yesterday and let him off. There was now just a curtain between himself and the invalid. Taking a deep breath, he opened the plastic material that hospital's attempted to shadow as "curtains" and stared at Donovan. He was asleep.

Actually, this was a good thing as far as Jay was concerned. It meant he could rehearse his speech again and make sure he knew what exactly he was going to say to Mark. He closed the sheet to make this a sectioned off room again. The rattle of the curtains seemed to stir Donovan somewhat, not that he awoke completely. There was a lone chair next to the bed and Jay headed over to it, trying his best not to catch any wires or medical doodads as he went.

Either Mark was an incredibly light sleeper or the combination of Jay's footsteps and movement had awoken the other boy. Jay smiled weakly when he turned to look at him,

"Ja- Cartwright, what the fuck are you doing here?" Donovan immediately questioned, not that he wasn't grateful that Jay was here, he was just trying to keep up appearances. Plus, he was certainly perplexed as to why he was actually here after everything. Jay didn't answer straight away, he rehearsed a few responses in his head first, trying to decided which one was the best. All he needed was to talk before he thought and say something he would regret. He narrowed his answers down to 'I felt guilty and I wanted to see if you were all right', which left it open, it was sort of generic and left a lot to the imagination or 'I need talk to you about everything.' It was still quite an open response, left some to the imagination but was more focussed. He started weighing out the pros and cons of both and evidently it was taking a while and Donovan suddenly cleared his throat, snapping Jay out of his deep thought path, "Didn't realise it was such a difficult question." He muttered slightly jocularly, "Look, I'm sorry."

"What?" The last thing he thought he would hear from Donovan were those words. Granted, he had everything to be sorry for but never did Jay expect that the bully would be sorry for everything,

"Fuck off, Cartwright, you heard." He snapped back and tried to avoid eye-contact, "I shouldn't have done anything that I did last night, not that I remember everything anyway." He continued and Jay figured it best not to interrupt him, "I just, I mean, Cooper makes me so fucking angry and I just wanted you for myself and-" He stopped to try and clear his thoughts realising that he had started rambling somewhat nonsensically. For the second time, he cleared his throat either symbolising he was starting a new topic or trying to reiterate the original topic, "I liked you Cart- _Jay_, but last night I, well, I saw how much you liked Cooper and-" This whole passionate speech thing really wasn't going well for Mark at all; he was certainly more of an action man than he was a words man and actions did speak louder than words, "What I'm saying is, I can't make you like me and I'm not going to keep trying." Jay couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. This meant that he was free in a way and now, if Simon was up for it, literally nothing could stand against them being together. In many ways, he'd never felt so relieved.

On the other hand, he was a little bit disappointed. Granted, the relief well outweighed the disappointment. But it was still there, niggling at the back of his mind that actually he had quite liked what they'd had together, him and Mark (well, up until last night anyway). In a way, he'd been enjoying it and Donovan was the first person that had ever took any sort of deep interest in him. He'd felt somewhat special around Mark and, in a fucked up way, he'd sort of felt safe, like it was all right and how it should be. Paradoxically, he didn't want it to come to an end, sort of like Donovan was breaking up with him, but at the same time, he was amazingly glad that now he was "free". Everything was conflicting in his mind, "Things go back to the way they were, all right, Cartwright and if you _ever _tell _anyone_ that I'm... well, you know, then everyone will know about you." Mark explained to him, breaking his thought process and his confusing opinions. He nodded and wondered if that was his cue to leave,

"I'll not tell anyone." He confirmed for Donovan then stood up, wanting to leave. Not because he was in a rush, just because he needed to be somewhere quieter and alone, where he could possibly think for a while or wank – one of the two, "Thanks, Mark." He muttered and opened the curtain,

"See ya, Cartwright." Donovan finalised and Jay swiftly left. That was it. It was officially over between them. He should feel happy. He should be celebrating. But he wasn't. It may have took him a while to realise it, but in some fucked up way, he'd actually liked Donovan. Despite everything, he liked their little meetings and their "relationship" if you could refer to it as that. He'd liked it all (with the distinct exception of last night).

But not as much as he liked Simon, he kept repeating in his head. It would take years for the Donovan thing to even come close to competing with his love for Simon, whom he now couldn't wait to go and talk to and hope that things could and would actually happen between them. Should it work out between them, it would definitely be better than what he'd had with Donovan – by miles. The only downside he could fathom was having to explain everything to Neil and Will. But he wouldn't be alone in that, he'd have Simon for help. He had a sudden urge to skip down the corridor of the hospital but didn't; that would be gay!

After a few impatient knocks on the door, Simon's mum eventually came to answer it. No doubt she had been busy with other mum like things or so Jay assumed. Her smile greeted Jay as it often did when he went around to Simon's and in many ways he sort of wished that his own mother was more like that of Si's. But at the end of the day, he wished he had a whole new family,

"Oh hello, he's upstairs, Jay." She greeted and moved to the side so Jay could enter, which he did so, "Simon, Jay's here!" Mrs. Cooper called up and then swiftly disappeared, probably to do more mum activities like washing or something. As much as he wanted to, Jay did not run to Simon's room in a complete frenzy of excitement since he was still counting on this being some wish fulfilling dream and that pretty soon he would wake up and everything would be back the way it was. But, even if it was a dream, Jay was making the most of it and meandered towards Simon's open bedroom door,

"Jay, thank fuck you're here!" He stated and swiftly closed the door behind his friend. It became obvious, Simon wasn't fully recovered since yesterday as he winced with every few moments,

"You feelin' any better, Si?" Jay questioned with genuine sympathy and just a hint of guilt in his tone, but the other boy quickly dismissed the question with a quick nod; apparently he had something more prominent on his mind,

"My fucking nagging parents won't stop questioning me about what's happened and I don't know what to tell them since I was barely conscious for most of it." He explained and suddenly it struck Jay that his dream may be ending sooner than he'd hope because Simon, suffering as he did, might not even recall the important parts such as the two liking each other. Trying not to let the panic and slight disappointment that was now attacking him show, Jay composed himself and thought about Simon's question. This time he was going to tell the truth and the whole truth, which seemed to be an imminent trend that was happening,

"What d'ya remember up to?" He asked so that he had some clue about where to begin with all what happened last night. Simon paused for a moment before answering, either trying to remember exactly what could or reliving some horror of last night that was prominent in his mind. The former seemed much more realistic when a small smile emerged on the invalid, which was aimed at Jay. Shortly followed by a hand on top of his friend's. To be honest, Jay was happy to leave the conversation there and then. He'd got the answer he wanted (unless it was, in fact, all a dream), "You remember enough!" Jay commented and wondered if it would be too imprudent to go in for a quick kiss, it didn't even have to be tongues. But that run the risk of Simon's family catching them and they had other things to deal with first,

"I remember Donovan going off on one about me ruining things and texting Will..." Simon explained whilst Jay intently listened on, trying t make a mental note of the things he needed to tell Simon, "...and then getting throttled for it." He finalised, although Jay noticed a distinct change in his tone of voice, pretty much suggesting that Simon was still entirely shaken up about everything that had happened. Doubts flooded Jay's mind as to whether he should actually tell Simon about the rest, wondering if it would send him into shock again or cause him some form of mental trauma,

"Yeah, well _I_ rescued you and sort of... scuffled with Donovan 'til I got the key." Maybe Jay wasn't being exactly truthful but the key facts were there at the very least,

"How?" Simon enquired; this was the one thing that Jay didn't want to answer for the sake of his own mental health as opposed to Si's although he assumed his friends wouldn't be too interested to here anyway. Simon took Jay's immediate silence and in-though expression to mean that he very much did not want to talk about this subject. Typically, he wouldn't pry, but he wanted to help Jay and he also really needed the gaps in his memory to be firmly filled in,

"Well, erm..." Jay cleared his throat and avoided eye-contact and was seemingly avoiding blinking possibly so he didn't have to think about it either; Simon wasn't the only one shaken up after everything, "Told Donovan we could, you know, fuck to get the key out of his pocket." He explained and with that Simon's memory came back like a shot. It sort of woozied him for a moment, like head-rush as everything fell into place. It was quite a lot of information to receive in 5 seconds,

"You don't need to tell me 'nything else, remember it all now." He stated as images played through his mind now. Particularly, images and some feeling of the pain that he'd been in last night combined with the mixed vision of Jay trying to protect him and Will and Neil entering. It had been a strange night. Snapping out of his own mind in an attempt to try and break the mental recollection bank, he noticed that Jay was looking entirely downhearted. Then, he noticed that noticing that had made him feel entirely downhearted as well. But he wasn't sure why, "You okay, Jay?" Simon asked, looking at his hazely-brown eyes. The way Jay had jumped when his crush questioned him might suggest that he was completely lost in a world of his own thoughts, which he had been. Jay, despite everything, still had that niggling feeling of guilt about Donovan. Now that things had potential between him and Simon, he sort of felt like a kid who only wanted a toy that he'd not got but someone bought it him and now he didn't want it. Well, he didn't feel entirely like that. Half of him was after Simon and half of him was after Donovan. But something told him that the latter chance was well and truly gone. Besides, maybe it wasn't that he wanted Mark, maybe it was just a feature of Mark that he'd found attractive like his dominance or masculinity.

On the other hand, here was Simon. Someone Jay knew, someone Jay could rely on for safety and laughs and good times. Someone Jay knew would always love him back and treat him right. Why did he want Donovan when he practically _had_ Simon? He wondered if he needed some physical contact with Simon (like he'd constantly had with Donovan) to make their relationship seem more real or, at least, get them out of the friend's zone. He looked back at Simon who had his own hazel but less so brown and more so blue eyes. They were lovely. Jay smirked slightly about how gay that thought was and finally nodded at Simon, who was still watching him,

"Yeah, I'm great, just been to see Donovan in the hospital." Simon perked up, slightly concerned at what had happened between his mate and the bully to cause Jay to look quite dejected, "It's over." Jay added in a blunt tone of voice. Whilst Jay didn't seem to be jumping for joy, Simon suddenly smiled. It wasn't because he was peculiarly happy at his friend's sadness but more because his friend was free from Donovan. It was true that Simon didn't know _everything_ that had took place between them and certainly didn't know how long it had been happening but he did know one thing: it meant Jay could go back to being normal Jay! Without warning and extremely spontaneously, Simon leant forward (hissing as he did so due to the pain he was still in) and pecked a kiss on Jay's lips. The latter teenager glanced back with such an expression, suggesting relief that the kiss or anything else had finally happened between the two. The osculation wasn't very long and was just Simon expressing his excitement, but Jay liked it; the guilt he'd been feeling was numbed slightly as his thoughts turned to Simon who was blushing slightly. Probably because this was all new to him and he had enjoyed it more than he thought he would. Would it be too forward of Jay to go in for more contact or would that ruin everything? Whatever; his thought process had become too intermingled and there was no turning back now. Their lips were back together and Jay's tongue did not have to fight for entry to deepen the kiss.

It went on for a while, of course, not as long as Jay was burning for and not even as long as Simon now quite wanted either; they were interrupted by the noise of someone coming upstairs. All the two needed was Si's parents to catch them, "Can't believe we're doing this." Jay absent-mindedly remarked, trying to recall exactly how many years he'd wanted this, how many years he'd craved it and needed it,

"What d'you mean?" Simon enquired and leant back slightly, not to move away from Jay but instead to create a little bit of distance between them in case someone entered the bedroom and made certain presumptions. Obviously, the presumptions would no doubt be correct, but that wasn't something either Simon or Jay really wanted to deal with yet,

"Just, like, wanted this for a long time and now it's finally happening and shit!" Jay expressed, trying to stop a smile on his face. He may have entered the bedroom entirely melancholic but would leave wholly uplifted. Maybe things in life were starting to look up for Jay.


	11. Chapter 11 Simon Epilogue

__**A/N I really had to get some Simon and Jay smut in my Simon ending even if I'm terrible at writing smut, which I am so much apologies. But here's the epilogue to my Simon ending and the Donovan ending will be up within the next week!**

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><p>For the first time in a while Jay Cartwright was beaming. And it was all for one simple reason; Simon bloody Cooper. Unrequited love might be a complete bitch but if by some miracle you're futile crush ends up liking you back it can be the most incredible feeling in the World. It was suddenly like the past four or five years of his life and his incessant infatuation now had meaning. The best part was that things could only get better. As he walked down the estate to Simon's, Jay couldn't help but imagine their whole life together. Granted, when he realised he was thinking too far ahead when they'd only kissed for the first time three days ago, the thought soon disappeared but it did grace his mind just for a moment. One thing was for sure, things were definitely looking up for Jay.<p>

Well, it depended on the way you looked at it. The positives of the situation were awesome to think about but there was no action without consequence. If Simon and he were taking this whole thing seriously, there was definitely serious things to think about. The crucial and most important part of that would be coming out. Not only to their parents but to their friends and the whole school as well. Naturally, certain people would be easier to tell than others. In fact, Jay would bet good money on who would react like what. He turned the corner, only a few houses away from Simon's now, picturing the scenario of telling his dad. No matter how it played out, the situation turned violent; his dad was a dick at the best of times and Jay knew from experience that if something pissed his dad off, that physical aggression would definitely enter the equation. Maybe his father should only find out if he and Simon were to get married or have a kid or had moved so far away that they were untraceable. Then again, they needn't tell anyone yet; Jay was getting too far ahead of himself.

Simon's yellow Fiat was now in plain sight, not that it would be hard to miss from far away either and soon Jay was knocking on the door. There was quite a melodious rhythm to his knocks showing his excitement as Simon's family were away for the weekend; Jay and Simon had the whole house to themselves for a whole weekend. Jay being Jay was very much hoping that something remotely sexual might happen but he wasn't holding his breath since the last thing he wanted was to rush things. But he had a little bit of hope as the door opened,

"All right, wanker?" Jay greeted with a smile and Simon stepped aside to let Jay in. He subconsciously rolled his eyes at the nickname Jay had bestowed upon him; nothing ever changed. The second that the door was closed, Jay pulled Simon into a hungry kiss. The latter didn't seem to mind however, sharing the same level of passion as his partner. If anyone saw, it would seem that they were wildly in love and had just been reunited after months apart. But in truth, they'd seen each other a couple of days ago and had been constantly texting. The passion of the kiss might be explained by the fact that both were inexperienced in this field and were making the most of it. Or maybe the five years Jay had been waiting for this to happen meant he had to kept checking it was real through intense physical contact. Eventually the kiss was broke leaving both boys smiling; it felt natural, it felt right, it felt like they should have been doing this for ages,

"I got us some beer in." Simon muttered to Jay who couldn't wipe the smile off his face as both headed to the kitchen and despite the time (4:00pm to be precise), they both cracked open a can of larger each.

Several cans and some lowered inhibitions later, Jay was very much hoping to take advantage of just that, their lowered inhibitions. But it wasn't working in his favour since Simon was easily distracted when drunk,

"We sh-should play a game." Simon slurred; he was sat next to Jay on their sofa in the front living room and had been making suggestions like this all night. Not that Jay didn't think it was a tiny bit fun, however, he definitely wasn't going to admit that playing two-player Spin the Bottle had been a weirdly enjoyable experience, "T-truth or Dare!" was eagerly suggested by Si who had clearly drank more than Jay,

"That's fucking gay." The latter automatically commented,

"We are gay!" Simon exclaimed and for some reason raised his hands like he was announcing it to the World's people; alcohol did some pretty wicked things to you,

"Oh yeah." Before he could protest with a better argument than the game being "gay", Simon was already contemplating dares, which were always interesting when thought of by a drunk person, "Can you even play this with two?" He pondered but Simon just shrugged , writing down really obscure dares and truths for that matter onto the back of a magazine. Suddenly, a smile crept onto Jay's face realising that maybe this game could work to his advantage. It would only take a certain dare for Jay to get what he wanted. Yes, he did have some qualms about taking advantage of a drunk person but, to be fair, it had happened to Jay himself only a few weeks ago, "All right, who's first?" Simon flipped a coin, which he subsequently lost as a strong point of drunk people is evidently not catching coins. His second idea was Rock, Paper, Scissors which he won,

"Truth or Dare?"

"I dunno, this is like really retarded. Truth, I guess." He mumbled trying to show that this game was beneath him when really he didn't mind playing,

"You're gonna actually tell the t-truth, aren't ya?" Simon suddenly asked and for a second Jay wasn't entirely sure what he meant. It took a while for it to click that the other boy was talking about Jay's fabricated stories. It seemed to have been so long since things were relatively normal that he hadn't managed to slip in one of his epic tales. He wasn't planning to either, not tonight anyway; Simon wasn't going to remember anything he said so where was the harm? He nodded to Simon; Jay Cartwright would tell the honest truth,

"What d'ya wanna know?" Jay asked and took a large swig of his larger realising that if he was going to have to endure this game, he would probably need to be at the same level of drunkenness that Simon was at, which was _very _drunk,

"Umm..." He seemed to contemplate his question for an extraordinary amount of time. Either much thought was going into it or he had lost his train of thought and forgot what they were doing due to his intoxication. Not that this was bothering the other boy at all; it was giving him much needed time to drink more himself, "How long have you liked me?" Simon finally asked causing Jay to roll his eyes at the pathetic question; he had genuinely expected something a little more exciting to answer. But this was easy! Although, he would definitely regret thinking that in a few questions time. He gulped down the rest of the can and opened another whilst answering,

"About five years." He shrugged in an attempt to make it sound as casual as possible.

The game continued for longer than either boy actually expected. Both were intoxicated now so the game had finally become interesting as Jay had wanted. Although, it was the wrong sort of "interesting",

"An- another true..." Simon slurred not making much sense any more. Jay had a tactical game plan in that he would keep choosing truths so long as he was sober, but now that he was drunk he had planned on mixing up his options. Evidently, drinking had made him forget his oh-so-clever plan. So he'd stuck with truths all evening, "When you were with Donovan, what did you do?" Simon asked. Had the other boy been at all sober, he might have noticed a sudden change in Simon's speech patterns; his words had not been slurred in the last question.

It wasn't that Simon had been trying to manipulate Jay in anyway by getting him drunk. He'd actually done this as a last resort; Jay really wasn't the easiest sort to talk to as half of the things he talked about never had and never will happen. But with alcohol Jay became a surprisingly normal human being. And in fairness, Simon had also been drinking, he'd not completely faked being drunk just to ask Jay certain questions. That _would_ be manipulative!

"C'mon Si..." Jay whined and drank more of the many cans they had; Simon had obviously been tactical when purchasing them too, "You, you don't w-want to know." Jay assured him as his boyfriend placed a hand on top of his own. It was comforting to Jay. Regardless of the fact that this was information he didn't want to admit, he knew that not talking to someone eventually could potentially be worse. What if the information somehow mentally affected him and telling someone would prevent that? Simon looked Jay right in the eyes in a dual attempt to both instil trust and some weird form of hypnotism. Although it appeared that Jay was having some trouble concentrating on the affixing stare from the other, he was merely contemplating, drunkenly contemplating, "J-just some blowies an' hand jobs." Jay shrugged shrewdly drinking his beer and Simon smiled slightly at Jay's admittance. It sort of made him feel like Jay trusted him or, at the very least, trusted him more. But that wasn't the only reason Simon was smiling; picturing Jay pleasuring another man was doing some wonderful things to his dick, "Si, Si, Si, Si, Si..." Jay repeated as he was growing impatient at his partner's sudden silence. The picture from Simon's head disappeared until he glanced at the unforbearing Jay and for the first time he seemed to completely analyse every detail of him. His matted dirty-blond hair perfectly framing his oval face. His brownish eyes were looking back at Simon, although, they were slightly dulled most likely due to the alcohol that he'd consumed. Not that it bothered Simon; Jay was still looking incredibly attractive. The only thing that confused him was how he'd never noticed this before in his friend. Having said that Simon rarely saw the more honest, slightly softer side to Jay before now. He liked it. Closing his eyes, Simon leant forward to kiss Jay, who gladly osculated back. There had been a definite deterioration in the quality of the kiss since earlier as the booze had impaired both their techniques but it didn't seem to be a problem as Simon slid his hand up Jay's back and eventually entwined in his hair. The other boy, however, had bigger and better things on his mind and Jay's hand cunningly found it's way to Simon's thigh. Despite a different location on the body, his hands imitated Simon's and slid upwards until he reached Simon's semi-hard cock. Briefly Simon stopped kissing to gasp as Jay started to rub his member outside of his jeans. It went on for a while until Simon decided Jay should be getting something out of this too. Moving fast, Simon returned to kissing Jay, but was evidently forceful enough to push Jay backwards. Then again, maybe it was due to Jay's loss of coordination from drinking. It resulted in Simon laying on top of Jay to continue their feat. Whilst kissing, Simon's hand now reached down to Jay's cock mimicking the actions that Jay had been doing since Simon was merely acting on impulse and had no idea what he was doing. Jay was already rock hard having wanted this for so long. The only problem was that Simon acting seemingly dominant was reminding him too much of Donovan. And he didn't want to be thinking of Donovan whilst he was with Simon. Thus beginning a slight fight for the upper hand between Jay and Simon. The former tugged on the other's shirt until he gave in and had to lift his hands for it to be taken off. Whilst Simon was distracted with removing his shirt, the other wriggled out from underneath and assumed position on top and swiftly removed his own shirt. Pinning Simon's wrists down, Jay planted a third kiss on Simon's lips then moved down. He lingered on Simon's neck for a moment, spurred on by the Simon's gasp. Then he moved further down, past his neck and incredibly slowly down his chest. Simon's anticipation and subsequent erection grew the further down that Jay got; it was almost torturous. But Simon couldn't and wouldn't do anything to try and speed Jay up since he seemed to know what he was doing. Plus, since his wrists were currently being held down by Jay there wasn't much he could do. Finally, Jay reached the waist band of his trousers. Slowly, he released Si's hands and trailed his own down the other boy's bare chest to his fly. Jay was practically improvising by now based on things he'd seen or read. But it seemed to be working. Involuntarily, Simon bucked his hips when the other brushed his cock whilst removing his jeans. And then his underwear was swiftly removed too, all forming a shameful pile on the floor. Jay's lips returned to their position except now they had access to Simon's bare skin. Slowly but surely they reached Simon's hard-on causing him to take a deep, drawn out breath when Jay almost entirely engulfed it; obviously, Jay had experience at this. Then again, Simon didn't have much to compare it to. He couldn't decide whether Jay was purposely trying to torture him when his tongue ran from base to tip up Si's dick. This continued for a while before Jay finally engulfed his whole length again. After a few bobs Simon came in warm ropes with a small grunt. Unlike when he was with Donovan, Jay somewhat gladly swallowed what Simon had given him,

"Christ Jay." Simon muttered under his breath whilst the other boy gave quite a smug smile, although, Jay sort of knew that it wouldn't be nearly as impressive if Simon had other's to compare it to. The smile, however, was shortly wiped off his face when Simon had practically leapt on him to start kissing again; obviously, he was liking this. And plus, he quite wanted to return the favour.

It didn't take long for Jay's trousers and underwear to join the pile of clothes on the floor. Simon's hand had already found Jay's member and was stroking it, the way he'd do it on himself. That was the only experience he had really. At least Jay had been with Donovan so he knew what he was doing in a way. Then again, Jay seemed to be enjoying this judging by the slight moans he was trying his best not to make. This was regardless to the other boy's lack of experience. It only took a minute or so for Jay to come all over Simon's fist but Jay had already deduced that it was the best minute of his life. So far anyway. They collapsed further into the sofa together, still naked but obviously not giving a fuck. Both chests were rising and falling in synch from exhaustion. A throw covered part of the sofa which Simon quickly pulled over them. They liked this, falling asleep in each others arms. It was new but it was right and comfortable and safe. Like nothing either boy had had before.

The sunlight was streaming through the living room window the next day straight onto the boys who were still sleeping. It was still early, maybe about 6am so there was no worry about Simon's parents finding them like this. The sun was surprisingly warm for the time of day and the time of year and it was pointing straight onto Jay and Simon's torsos. So much so that the throw they had been using had been kicked onto the floor along with all the clothes. Jay stirred slightly; the combination of dehydration from a partial hangover and the heat had woke him up. But he wasn't bothered. Especially when he opened his eyes to see Simon's arm over his stomach and the memories of last night came flooding back to him in one euphoric mass.

Jay couldn't quite believe his own fortunate luck; he'd got Simon after 10 years of friendship with 5 of those years spent wanting more than friendship. And if every night was going to be a great as last night, his life was set.


	12. Chapter 12 Donovan Ending

**A/N I had some trouble writing a Donovan ending, maybe because I'm a hopeless Jay/Simon shipper or maybe because Donovan's character can be really difficult to write in some situations. Anyway, much apologies for this and definitely the next chapter.**

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><p>"This is <em>not<em> what it looks like!" Jay tried to convince the two boys who had been stood silently staring at them for the past 3 minutes or so. All he needed was one of them to speak, so that he could gage what their true reaction was to this but it didn't look like either had anything to input. Not right now anyway. Starting to feel uncomfortable about the prolonged eye-contact, Jay looked at Mark instead, who was really wavering now. The drugs and alcohol in his system had clearly reached some form of peak and Jay didn't want to feel concerned. There was no reason for him to feel concerned. After everything the last thing he should experience was concern for the person who'd caused all this. Yet Jay was overrun with concern. Maybe it was because the two had gotten close over the past couple of months this had been happening and Jay was suffering some messed up version of Stockholm Syndrome. But he was concerned whatever the reason. It wasn't half the concern he was feeling for Simon but still it was there, "You okay, Mark?" He asked, trying he best to sound like he didn't care to keep up appearances since Neil and Will were still there. Before they knew it, Donovan blinked a few times and suddenly collapsed next to Simon. Neil and Will just watched the situation like it was some sort of strange soap opera that starred people they knew and was far too interesting to turn away from no matter what they tried.

In some ways the picture had developed from being highly unlikely to impossible. Since they had literally no idea what had been happening, it appeared that the kiss Jay and Donovan had shared had somehow knocked Mark unconscious. Will knew it was illogical and was expecting Jay to inform them whilst Neil wondered how Jay had learnt such a cool trick, "Any chance of help or what, wankers?" Jay asked, almost reverting back to his normal self; when he realised that he was pretty good in a crisis, he definitely wasn't lying. The two didn't move, a little unsure of what they were expected to do, "He's been on drugs and booze..." Jay explicated gesturing to Donovan, who was completely out of it, "He got beat up by Donovan..." This time he pointed to Simon, who wasn't unconscious, but was in too much pain to register what exactly was happening anyway, "I'll fucking explain everything later, all right? Now, fucking help!" He remarked and that seemed enough for the two at the moment as Will shook his head and hurried over,

"Donovan needs to be in the recovery position." Will stated, somewhat blankly which received an equally blank reception from Jay, "It's basic first aid." He rolled his eyes and pushed Jay out of the way, who went over to Simon instead, "Neil, get Si some water." Will hoped that was a simple enough job for Neil, one that he couldn't fuck up. In truth, Will was only guessing at what was the best course of action, in Simon's case anyway as he had absolutely no idea whether something was broken or there was internal bleeding or anything. Whilst Jay and Neil looked after Simon, Will checked Mark's pulse rate, which seemed to slow quite dramatically, "It's no use, we'll have to call an ambulance." He sighed and Jay nodded, knowing that Will would no doubt know what the best course of action was and to follow it to the letter, "But I don't know how we're going to explain this. Do you even know what drugs he's been on?" Will asked Jay, who shrugged,

"He took them before..." He struggled for words to finish the sentence. Words that wouldn't dig him into a hole, "...I got here."

"See, me and Si were right, Jay wasn't doing drugs." Neil pointed out, quite smugly. Rarely did Neil get things right so he had to briefly bask in the moment, not that it was incredible; he never did quite understand what was fun about this "being right" and "being smart" was all about. At the end of the day it seemed really boring,

"Thanks for your ever so useful input as always, Neil." Will rolled his eyes at Neil's inarticulate way of saying _I told you so._ But this was really not the right time, "If you weren't with him, how do you know he's done drugs?" He turned back to Jay, whom he noticed was just staring at Simon with quite a distant look. In actual fact, he was was resisting the urge to hold Simon's hand again, which would probably look more weird to Will and Neil than kissing Donovan had done,

"Can you think of another explanation, doctor?" Jay sarcastically remarked wondering what other reasons a person might have, firstly, treated him and Simon in the manner and audacity that Mark had and secondly, why he might have collapsed without showing any genuine symptoms of pain. Will rolled his eyes and instructed Neil to call an ambulance. Now, they waited.

It might as well have been a normal day at school the day after everything that had occurred. Will, Neil and Jay were back at school where they seem to spend most of their misfortunate lives. Even Simon had been given the all clear at the hospital to return to school; nothing was broken, only bruised in other words, he was perfectly fine just in pain. But this accounted for even further normality. Of course, the four knew things were different. For starters, Donovan was still in hospital, which was not only causing Jay misplaced guilt but also had the rest of the Sixth Form wondering where he was. Another abnormality of today was that Jay, Will and Neil had barely spoke with each other since last night. He hadn't expected it to be perfect after what his friends had witnessed last night, but Jay certainly hadn't expected complete silence. Obviously, this left Simon entirely confused as he hardly recalled anything after Donovan held a knife to his throat; according to a doctor at the hospital, he had entered a state of shock.

As far as any other member of the school knew, everything was normal. It appeared normal. But appearances weren't everything. Whilst Jay was suffering a fit of guilt and Simon a state of confusion, Neil and Will had their own concerns going on. In other words, they were still trying to come to terms with what happened last night.

In Neil's head, which was working overtime as it rarely got to contemplate anything other than toast or tits, he wasn't replaying the situation. In fact, he wasn't even bothered about Jay's apparent homosexuality, not in the slightest, however, he was mad. Mad at the fact that Jay had been lying to him for years. Infrequently did Neil get angry at much, he was usually a placid character, almost mysterious in a way, but right now he was mad. For the past 10 years, Jay had told Neil practically everything, even things he wouldn't tell Simon, things that Neil had kept perfectly secret and yet he hadn't told him this. Obviously, he thought that Jay had a reason for not telling him, but as everyone else was barely speaking Neil was slightly concerned there was some form of two minute silence happening but for 10 minutes and not two. He'd broken a two minute silence before and received a detention for it; he wasn't trying it again.

Will's brain was always in overload; it _never _stopped. There was always an idea to be had or a problem to be solved but neither of those even graced his mind today, not in the slightest. The only image his brain was producing, however, was what he'd witnessed last night. Over and over and over again, like sport slow motion replays. The bespectacled boy had never considered himself homophobic. It just wasn't in his nature to prejudice a group like that but after last night, he couldn't help feeling a little disturbed. In his defence, it might simply be because it was an odd combination of people, especially when one of them is your close friend (it was almost like they'd had a secret identity all this time). It could easily be that he was suffering one of those "Don't flaunt it" attitudes in which he didn't mind people being gay but just didn't want to see them at it. After a little bit of time, he assumed the scene would stop replaying and he could just accept Jay and move on, particularly since he'd bet good money on the fact that Neil's dad was bent and he got along with him just fine. Then again, he didn't spend almost everyday with Neil's dad. Okay, so maybe Will was a little homophobic, he could deal with it, he was sure. All he needed was a little bit of time. Not that this silence was helping any, he needed a distraction from the scene playing in his head.

The bell rang and relief seem to wash over all four of the boys. They always had something to talk about and even when they didn't, Jay would usually make up a story to give them a good laugh. Things were different. But that was something to worry about later in Jay's eyes. As soon as school was over, he needed to sort things with Donovan, he'd visit him in hospital later. Next on the agenda would be to find out what, if anything, Simon was feeling. Then and only then, would he confront Will and Neil about all this. Hopefully with Simon's help.

Jay never did like hospital. Then again, neither did anyone else to his knowledge. No matter how you dressed it up, at the end of the day, hospitals were for women in labour, sick people and the occasional hypochondriac. None, of which, you'd spend time with outside of a hospital. They were fucking depressing and that was that. The plain white tiles of the floor and the walls did provide Jay with optimism nor confidence he needed to face Donovan. But here he was, alone, ready to talk to him; sort everything out once and for all if he could. The nurse had kindly provided Jay with the wing that Mark was on, information which was usually reserved for family members but she had recognised Jay from yesterday and let him off. There was now just a curtain between himself and the invalid. Taking a deep breath, he opened the plastic material that hospital's attempted to shadow as "curtains" and stared at Donovan. He was asleep.

Actually, this was a good thing as far as Jay was concerned. It meant he could rehearse his speech again and make sure he knew what exactly he was going to say to Mark. He closed the sheet to make this a sectioned off room again. The rattle of the curtains seemed to stir Donovan somewhat, not that he awoke completely. There was a lone chair next to the bed and Jay headed over to it, trying his best not to catch any wires or medical doodads as he went.

Either Mark was an incredibly light sleeper or the combination of Jay's footsteps and movement had awoken the other boy. Jay smiled weakly when he turned to look at him,

"Ja- Cartwright, what the fuck are you doing here?" Donovan immediately questioned, not that he wasn't grateful that Jay was here, he was just trying to keep up appearances. Plus, he was certainly perplexed as to why he was actually here after everything. Jay didn't answer straight away, he rehearsed a few responses in his head first, trying to decided which one was the best. All he needed was to talk before he thought and say something he would regret. He narrowed his answers down to 'I felt guilty and I wanted to see if you were all right', which left it open, it was sort of generic and left a lot to the imagination or 'I need talk to you about everything.' It was still quite an open response, left some to the imagination but was more focussed. He started weighing out the pros and cons of both and evidently it was taking a while and Donovan suddenly cleared his throat, snapping Jay out of his deep thought path, "Didn't realise it was such a difficult question." He muttered slightly jocularly, "Look, I'm sorry."

"What?" The last thing he thought he would hear from Donovan were those words. Granted, he had everything to be sorry for but never did Jay expect that the bully would be sorry for everything,

"Fuck off, Cartwright, you heard." He snapped back and tried to avoid eye-contact, "I shouldn't have done anything that I did last night, not that I remember everything anyway." He continued and Jay figured it best not to interrupt him, "I just, I mean, Cooper makes me so fucking angry and I just wanted you for myself and-" He stopped to try and clear his thoughts realising that he had started rambling somewhat nonsensically. For the second time, he cleared his throat either symbolising he was starting a new topic or trying to reiterate the original topic, "I liked you Cart- _Jay_, but last night I, well, I saw how much you liked Cooper and-" This whole passionate speech thing really wasn't going well for Mark at all; he was certainly more of an action man than he was a words man and actions did speak louder than words, "What I'm saying is, I can't make you like me and I'm not going to keep trying." Jay couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. This meant that he was free in a way and now, if Simon was up for it, literally nothing could stand against them being together. In many ways, he'd never felt so relieved.

On the other hand, he was a little bit disappointed. Granted, the relief outweighed the disappointment. But it was still there, niggling at the back of his mind that actually he had quite liked what they'd had together, him and Mark (well, up until last night anyway). In a way, he'd been enjoying it and Donovan was the first person that had ever took any sort of deep interest in him. He'd felt somewhat special around Mark and, in a fucked up way, he'd sort of felt safe, like it was all right and how it should be. Paradoxically, he didn't want it to come to an end, sort of like Donovan was breaking up with him, "Things go back to the way they were, all right, Cartwright and if you _ever _tell _anyone_ that I'm... well, you know, then everyone will know about you." Mark explained to him, breaking his thought process and his confusing opinions. He nodded and wondered if that was his cue to leave. But if it was a hint, Jay wasn't taking it. He would've left except he didn't want to. Maybe it was the lack of sleep he'd had or some other fucked up explanation but Jay didn't want to leave him at all,

"I don't want things back the way they were..." Jay suddenly muttered to Donovan, who wasn't quite catching on to what Cartwright was rambling about, "...in some fucked up way, I like what we've got." He stated as the bedridden boy raised an eyebrow. There would be a definite smile on his face if he thought that Jay was being at all truthful, but he just couldn't see it as a possible. It was probably some sick joke for all he knew. It didn't make sense for Jay to have a sudden change of heart like this at all, "Not like Simon was gonna be gay anyway." Donovan raised an eyebrow; he couldn't remember much from last night but he was sure he'd seen Cooper hold Jay's hand. With any luck it had just been fear or the heat of the moment. That would work in Mark's favour. The first thought he had after Jay's statement, the first thing he wanted to answer was _Cooper's missing out_. Or something to that effect. Something that would no doubt compliment Jay but obviously he didn't. Just because Cartwright wanted to be in this for the long run now did not mean things had to entirely change. Not yet anyway and certainly not in a public place. And it was entirely out of character for Donovan. Having said that what he did say was as equally uncharacteristic and out-of-place and weird. It wasn't the only weird event of late anyway,  
>"Kiss me?" It didn't sound like an order to Jay, it didn't sound like an instruction. It sounded genuine. It sounded like it was totally Jay's choice. It sounded right. Had the curtain still been opened Jay might have had reservations about kissing Mark in public but he swallowed back any niggling worries he had and stood up. He leant over and kissed Mark. It was different to their previous kisses which all (mainly) took place last night. It wasn't forced or awkward. Donovan hadn't placed his probing hands on Jay's body and likewise, Jay had not done the same. It was just an innocent kiss, not even tongues. Maybe that's what was making this feel right. But that's exactly what it did feel. Right.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13 Donovan Epilogue

**A/N Sort of rushed the ending but I know I've not got time right now to write anything better. Maybe in the future, it'll get a re-write.**

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><p>It became abundantly obvious to Jay that the old adage "All good things must come to an end" was entirely true. Yesterday had been a good thing. It gave him hope. Hope that things could be different, hope that Donovan did actually care, hope that he could be in a proper relationship. But Mark's demeanour had changed over night. Again.<p>

He was out of the hospital now having been given the all clear from his doctor. Not that anything was majorly wrong with him in the first place; just a bad combination of drugs and alcohol. Despite this, as Jay had discovered, the hospital had still put him on some strong pain killers. Maybe because the NHS was fucked up and full of incompetent nurses. Or maybe because someone or something was out to get Jay and thought it would be funny to instil him with that little bit of hope that Donovan had actually changed, that he'd be out of this relationship after all. But no-one would be that mean. There was nothing to blame but Jay's own unfortunate luck.

So Jay was taking the all too familiar walk to Donovan's flat with Donovan in tow, the two barely speaking a word to one another. Just like it should be. Not that it should be. Jay wanted something more, something permanent and he was confident that Donovan did too, he just didn't want to admit it. The hospital had definitely shown a different side to Mark. A side Jay would like to find again, preferably without the use of drugs. And besides which, if he didn't find it, he'd be stuck in this relationship permanently. At this rate he probably had more chance of getting with Simon than he did changing this relationship. But now he was stuck in this pseudo-relationship because of his own damn stupidity. He'd had the chance to get out of it but he'd kept himself in it.

Donovan unlocked his flat door with the key that had played a crucial part a couple of nights ago. Although, Mark wouldn't know that since his memory of those events were blurred at best. He knew drugs and alcohol were a bad combination. But love and jealously lead to an awful form of desperation. And he felt guilty; he was paying his dues. He was pretty sure that was what he'd tried to do in the hospital. Then again, he couldn't really remember what had happened then either. The door was pushed open and Mark gestured for the other boy to walk in. It was quite unusual for Jay to be able to walk in of his own accord, normally he was lightly pushed but he didn't question it. The door was shut behind them and Jay felt an all-too familiar feeling of being trapped here. But it was only for a split second. Before Jay could realise exactly what was happening he was up against the closed door, being passionately kissed by Donovan. Okay, so maybe this was quite atypical. Normally, it was just straight on with it, never any foreplay, if kissing counted as foreplay. Other than before Donovan was prepared to rape Jay the other day, which left a distinct feeling of dread in Jay' stomach.

Neither last very long, the feeling of dread and the kiss. Both came to an abrupt stop with two words,

"I'm sorry." Mark swallowed, quite seriously. This time Jay was entirely sure that Donovan was perspicuously aware of what he was saying unlike at the hospital where he'd been drugged up with medication,

"You already told me that." Jay remarked with an awkward smile and a feeling of relief that, despite what he originally had thought, Donovan hadn't changed entirely since yesterday. After that there was an air of silence for a while. It wasn't exactly awkward per se, it was just that neither knew exactly what more to say or to do,

"How's Cooper?" He questioned to Jay who was a little surprised at the question. Well, he was a combination of perplexed and nervous since Donovan obviously didn't care for Simon in the slightest so Jay couldn't help but be a little anxious that the question was some sort of trick. He apprehensively stated,

"Didn't really talk much but he was back at school." In all honesty, Donovan felt a wave of relief wash over him which muted some of the guilt he'd felt. Obviously, he hadn't done too much damage to Simon. The silence returned again and Jay began to wonder why he was here at all; it didn't seem like Mark had planned any of their normal activities. In fact, it didn't seem like Donovan had planned anything at all. But everything happened for a reason or so they said. Even so, Jay couldn't help but feel a little bit frustrated. Donovan should get on with whatever he was meant to be getting on with.

Mark had planned to make things right somehow but when it came to appeasing was more difficult than it seemed. So the silence was prolonged. There was too much to be said; in depth discussions about feelings and apologies and God knows what else. It just wasn't happening. Mark moved to sit on the sofa and Jay took the initiative and followed. Normally, he'd wait for some kind of instruction but Donovan seemed to be quite placid today so what was the danger?

That one movement somehow said it all. Actions spoke louder than words and all that shit. It showed Jay wasn't waiting for Mark's instructions any more. If they wanted an actual relationship which both boy's did regardless of their lack of admittance, then they had to be equal. And that's what Jay had just effectively made them. In one small gesture. And it didn't stop there; he wasn't trying to push his luck but sometimes limits needed to be tested and now was as greater time as any. Jay reached for Donovan's hand and subsequently held it and neither pulled away. In fact, it was quite nice. It further proved that actions spoke louder than words. They'd never done anything like this before. Just hold hands with nothing further in mind. It was surreal but ultimately lovely. Maybe because it was innocent or maybe because it infused what both boys wanted, that relationship.

And for once, Simon wasn't on Jay's mind. Neither was much else actually. Just this sort of tranquillity they'd achieved. If they were going to make a go of this, obviously there were longer term things to think about. Like how he was meant to tell his friends after everything and then there was his family and every other person at school to worry about. But it didn't matter. Not right now.

Jay couldn't quite believe his own fortunate luck that this was actually happening; he'd never been in a real relationship really and this seemed like it was just the start of one.

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><p><strong>AN And that's it. The End. Finito. A huge thanks to all my lovely reviewers, I've never wrote a story that people actually seemed to like so it's really appreciated. Hopefully, I'll be writing more Inbetweners fics in the future, although I can neither confirm nor deny whether it'll be more M/M. Maybe a sequel's on the cards.**

**Thank you for everything,**

**FemaleInbetweener x**


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